Bear with me on this one. It was more difficult to write than I imagined. I had to deal with a myriad of emotions. And I still am!
My last day of radiation therapy for prostate cancer was December 7. I began treatment on October 14. Prior to that I began hormone therapy to block my testosterone on September 4. And to begin this whole interesting ride I had robotic assisted prostate surgery on May 5. If I had to really nail down the day it all began I would say it began on February 28 with the results of my biopsy. Lots of dates to remember. Trust me, they are all chiseled in my head.
I had no idea what to expect when I started. None! I mistakenly believed I would sail through with no changes to my life. Boy was I wrong. Some side effects and treatments were worse than others. The one constant throughout all of this was people. That seems like a pretty broad subject. Let me try and break it down.
To say I was nervous heading in to surgery is putting it mildly. Scared is a better term. My only other surgery was to fix a hernia. Outpatient surgery. In and out the same day. No big deal. This was a level of scared I have never dealt with. They were going to take out something that was trying to kill me. No real guarantees what would be found until the doctor got in there. In the days leading up to surgery I tried to act like it was no big deal. Believe me when I say I'm a pretty good actor. What helped immensely was family, friends and coworkers. Whether they knew it or not they really kept me occupied and kept my mind off of the seriousness. Some riding and running in the days leading up to surgery really helped keep my overactive mind quiet.
Surgery went well. I can’t thank enough my doctor, the nurses and all the others involved in my care and recovery. I like to think being a model patient made their job easier. 😁
Once I returned home and began my recovery I was honestly amazed by the care and concern of my friends and family. It’s said (not sure by whom) that you really find your true friends when you’re down. Tammy and I totally believe it! Care packages arrived. Food was delivered. Calls, emails and texts were received and shared. It was all appreciated beyond words.
Especially when COVID was added to the heap to complicate matters.
The lull between surgery and hormone therapy and radiation treatments had people constantly checking in with us. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard “if there is anything you need.”
When radiation treatment started people continued to reach out. Offers to help with the drive back and forth to Appleton every day if needed. Constant reminders of “you’ve got this.” Easy bike rides with very patient friends. Coworkers checking in to let me know what I was missing. 😂 Family politely reminding me to take it easy.
When my treatment wrapped up the response from people was a bit overwhelming. I don’t know any other way to say it. I was at a loss for words. Hard to tell that right now, isn’t it?! I won’t even try to mention everyone and everything. Just know that Tammy and I are grateful for it all.
I have to send huge thanks to everyone involved my care and treatment. From the beginning Tammy and I were always kept up to date and informed. The surgery team was awesome and my care was outstanding.
All the follow up visits were excellent.
Once I started radiation treatment I experienced a level of care, concern and compassion that blew me away. I had a simulation prior to starting and a lengthy discussion with a nurse and Dr. Ray, my radiation oncologist. I was still nervous as hell walking in Thedacare Regional Cancer Center on that first day. I didn’t know what to expect. All the possible side effects were swirling through my head along with a multitude of other unpleasant thoughts. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle 38 days. My fears were 99 percent unfounded-some of the side effects weren’t! Everyone in that building went above and beyond to make me feel comfortable. Pleasant. Friendly. Compassionate. Caring. So many other qualities to help settle my nerves and make the visits as easy as possible. As the days passed I felt like I was part of a new family. From the temperature scanner at the door remembering me day to day, and over weekends, to the registration check in team who many days had my information at hand before I could even verify my name and birthdate, to everyone in what I'm going to call "Area 4."
Here's how my day usually went. I arrived usually a bit early for my 10:00 a.m. treatment. I headed in and would get my temperature scan at the door. It was the same two or three people. By the end of the second week, they knew me. Along with all the same questions they tried to change it up to see if people were actually listening or just giving the same answers out of habit. "How was supper last night? Did it taste good? Everything stay down okay?" Little things made the days easier! Then it was up to registration. After the first day, I would be handed a swipe card to enter the radiation treatment area. It has a separate waiting area. As I mentioned above, by about the second week they would see me coming and would usually have all my information up on their computer. Name and birthdate. Hand me a swipe card and away I would go. Always friendly and polite. Once back in the radiation area I would try to hang up my coat and sit for a minute before they came and got me. Most days I wasn't very successful. Even being up to 15 minutes early some days I rarely waited. It was the same group of techs every day. And another amazing group. They always checked to see how I felt. How was I doing? Plans for the day? How was your weekend? When I did my ride home from Appleton they wanted to know how it went. Was I nuts? One was a runner so that day would end up talking about training and racing. I felt like a person and not just a patient. Trust me, there is a HUGE difference. Tuesdays were the days I saw the doctor. Dr. Ray and his nurse were always positive and concerned. Always checking for problems, side effects or anything out of the ordinary. My questions were answered straightforwardly. Maybe not what I wanted to hear but no beating around the exam room. After my approximately 15 minute visit I was done for the day. Many days I was out of the building before my appointment time! Towards the end I started getting questioned-"How many days left?" From the volunteers doing temperature scans to registration and all the way through. It felt good to hear those personal questions. I also had a nurse liaison who checked in with Tammy and me. Always inquiring about how my treatments were going. Was there anything we needed? Anything they could do? Did we need help with getting to and from appointments? Like I said, it felt like a new family, albeit one I never imagined I would be a part of.
I haven't said much about my last appointment. It still brings up some very strong emotions. It started even before I entered the building. There are signs outside the door and in the parking lot. Positive and hopeful. "You've got this." "We are so proud of you." I had been looking at those every day. When I checked in and got my swipe card I was told "congratulations, you've done great." I had a certificate of completion from the entire staff. After I saw Dr. Ray I was asked if I wanted to ring the bell. Damn right!! Some of the staff followed outside. Tammy and my son Travis were there also. Ringing that bell was one of the proudest and most emotional moments of my life. To say a few tears were shed is an understatement.
Wow, this has become a bit long winded, even for me. Bear with me. I'm getting there.
I guess where I'm headed is what (or who) helped get me through this. I seriously wouldn't have had as easy a time as I did without friends and family. If I don't personally mention you, trust me, you are appreciated more than you know. It's just been a bit overwhelming at times!
First family. My wife Tammy has stood by me from day one. You may think that's just natural, but I don't necessarily believe that. When the shit hits the fan some partners just can't or won't deal with things. Tammy put up with me through good and bad days, and trust me there were days I wasn't the model patient. Her support, belief and love were the light that kept me going! To the moon......
My parents were amazing. Offering support and strength. Positive phone calls with laughter and stories. Thanksgiving food to-go plates. Cookies-way too many of those! The constant check-ins were amazing.
My sisters. Trish, the quiet one who stood beside me while dealing with her own issues. Tacit love and strength I always knew was there. And then there is the vocal one! Amy. Princess High and Mighty Queen Bee Told You So Boss of the World. And I mean that in a very proud and loving way. When my stubbornness got out of hand and I tried to do more than was sensible she quickly swooped in and reminded me what an idiot I was. Kindly and caringly. I think there were days that she and Tammy ganged up on me!
Tammy's brothers. Bob and his family. Mark and his family. Always checking in to see what's what and what's needed.
Our kids. And I do mean Our Kids. Lara, Chelsea, Travis and Glenn. And their better halves. And all the grandkids. From care packages, custom t-shirts, custom Team Sven/Fuck Cancer sign, video chats, texts, and socially distant visits, they were bright rays of sunshine. They mad me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time! And they occasionally chastised me too when I got to big for my britches!
Friends. Wow, where to start?! Todd and Suzanne. Their friendship was another shining star. From slow roll bike rides for beer to care packages and everything in between. They never let me get down or let me take myself too seriously. I mean, c'mon. They patiently dragged my tired butt through a gravel ride in the middle of an October snow squall. That's friendship!! Seriously though, it's said when the chips are down you find out who your friends are.
Mike, Julie and Ruby. Always checking in and supportive. And because green Jello is for boys!
Myles, whose slightly frightening visage I am staring at now. Don't ask. Checking in. Meeting for a beer to keep an eye on me. Waiting for me to go take a leak so he could ask Tammy, "how is he really?" It seemed like he knew when I needed a visit.
Becky and John. Keeping tabs and reminding me this isn't the end of the road (or trail.)
Rachel and Ben. For all the check ins and a rare opportunity to race. Gentlemen's pace my ass!
Our neighbors, Pam and Roger. Checking in and keeping track of us. And shaking their heads as I headed out for another ride or run! Good neighbors are hard to find. Great neighbors are like a needle in a haystack!
So many other friends keeping tabs on us and sending positive thoughts. It seems like an endless list some days and Tammy and I are so grateful for all of you.
Friends and groups on social media were a help too. Members of Mind Over Matter Alphas and Fxck Endurance Club. A thumbs up here and there did more than you can imagine. And realizing that I'm not the only one who is going through some shit!! Some days that really put things in perspective! Two groups I never thought I would be a part of and damn proud to be a member now!
The list is seemingly endless, at least to me. When I step away for a moment another name and memory pops up. Tammy and I are truly fortunate to have all of you in our life. This wasn't fun, but it was easier with all of you. When life returns to normal there will be a driveway fire and adult beverages to share. If you are a part of this story, you're invited. And if you weren't directly involved and want to see how so many great people can change one life, you're invited too!!
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