I am done! Finished! I have completed 38 days of radiation treatment for prostate cancer. 5 days a week for 7 1/2 weeks. I did get a day off on Thanksgiving. Approximately 15 minutes a day. I got to know the people I saw everyday. And they got to know me, on a first name basis. So…now what? That’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it? At least it is for me.
First on the agenda is to get healthy. Wait, isn’t that what I have been doing? Yes…but…maybe I should say get back to where I feel healthy. Back to where I feel like the old me, minus the cancer.
I went in to radiation therapy with the belief that I was going to proceed with life as normal. Situation status quo. I may have been wrong?😮 Imagine that! It took a few weeks but the side effects finally began to rear their ugly heads. Fatigue was the worst for me. The hot flashes from the Lupron shot are really affecting my sleep. I am really happy when I get two straight hours of sleep before I am awakened soaking wet. It doesn't last long and I generally fall asleep again, once I've risen and toweled off. And then it happens again. Repeat three or four times a night. I usually sneak in a short nap sometime during the day but the fatigue slowly builds up. It will be late spring before the side effects of the Lupron subside. I can't wait to sleep through the night! 😴
I can't wait to be rid of the joint pain and aches from the Lupron injection. These seem to be completely random in occurrence. Day to day activity seems to have no rhyme or reason to their happening. When it does occur it can be a dull ache or feel like somebody is trying to pull my joints apart, mainly the hips or knees, but it has flared up in almost every joint. I know I'm old and things ache, but c'mon!! It will be nice to have the usual aches and pains of getting older and from a hard workout.
I can't wait to get some muscle strength and stamina back. Another wonderful side effect of Lupron is loss of muscle mass. Testosterone can help fuel prostate cancer cells. Lupron blocks testosterone. which affects lean muscle mass. I figured that I would just bypass that side effect along with the others. I may have misjudged again. I didn't notice it at first, but like fatigue, it slowly crept up on me. And then it kicked my ass! Two races on the same course brought the realization home for me. The first one was before my injection and radiation therapy began. Two hard and fast laps at the Brown County Reforestation Camp on August 15. I felt strong. Fast. I flowed through the single track. I powered up the punchy climbs. My second lap was only forty-seven seconds slower that the first. I felt great. As close to that mystical sense of being in the “zone” as I have been in a very long time. The second race was seven weeks after my injection and two and one half weeks after radiation therapy began. November 1. Same course, mostly. One lap. I felt tired and slow right off the start line. The same little climbs from August felt like mountains. I usually spin out my single speed on the two track sections. Not so this day. I felt slow and clumsy on the bike when I usually feel like the bike and I are one. I had a little "incident" while the first place rider in our age class and I were pushing through the single track. When I saw Tom riding away I just quit. Mentally and physically. Normally I would have chased until I exploded. It just wasn't there. Not that I didn't want to push. I couldn't push. My one lap that day was slower than either lap in August. The perceived effort was so much higher in November. Looking at other information (heart rate, cadence, speed) it shows that my treatment was catching up. I prefer to think of it as my treatment was working and my body was doing all it could.
I am planning (hoping) to get back to where I was in late 2019/early 2020. At Reforestation in 2019 I ran a 5K trail race before the mountain bike race. That wasn't even an option this year. At least I realized that! Now, before everybody jumps all over me, I plan on coming back slow and smart. 2021 may end up being a total rebuild/recover year. I know my health and fitness won't come back overnight. There are a couple other side effects I would like to rid from my body. I hope to get my energy level back to normal. I need to shed a few pounds (another jolly side effect of Lupron-weight gain. Less muscle mass, more ass!) I would like to get back to the point where the climbs around Waupaca don't feel like the Swiss Alps. I hate to admit but I have been to the point where I considered walking up a couple hills. I'm hoping to race in 2021. I’ll be entering a new age group. Hopefully a real pin on a bib event. I won't make any guarantees on my competitiveness. But you can be damn sure I will give it my all.
My plan is to take a few weeks now and relax. I need to process what I’ve been through. I need to get back to work and pay some bills. Maybe sneak in some easy rides and runs, preferably outside. Beginning January 1, 2021 it will be time to get serious. I need to sit down and work on a plan. Set some concrete goals. Research some races to work towards. I need to work on getting some strength back while I get back to my fighting weight. Some flexibility would help with the stiffness and aches. It will be an uphill battle but it can’t be harder than kicking cancer’s ass!
Well…that’s all I have for now. Unfortunately I do have more to say. I just need time to put those thoughts in to words. There really is a lot swirling around my little brain today. Once I sort out some thoughts and emotions I will put finger to keyboard.
Thank you to everyone who has followed along so far. The trip isn’t over. This is just the first leg of the journey. I appreciate all the reads and comments. I’m also up for any questions.
And one more time- FUCK CANCER!
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