Chapter Two

 

I'll bet you'll be glad when I return to work so I don't have so much time to sit and think! And write!

Let's move on to some more positive posts. Looking ahead. Starting over. Moving on. Putting the past truly behind. Reset. 

I really like that last idea. Reset. I wish it was that simple. Push a button and start fresh. I know it isn't going to be that easy. I know I have some hard work ahead of me. I am still amazed at how much I've lost and how fast it disappeared. I have been keeping active, running and riding, but the fitness slipped through my fingers. 

The effects of the radiation therapy are slowly fading away . They are not entirely gone but definitely fading. I still have to deal with the effects of the Lupron injection. Shutting down testosterone production and training isn't an ideal combination. The research and reading I've been doing are somewhat positive though. The opinion is to definitely keep exercising. I was told to keep up weight bearing exercise due to the chance of losing bone density. Running. Weight lifting. Keep the bones strong. I haven't been to the gym since late spring. That was one chance I didn't want to risk with COVID-19 and cancer. I've been rethinking that lately. Maybe hitting the gym at off hours. I returned to work on December 21. Back on day shift. I could probably roust my lazy ass out of bed and hit the gym before work. It shouldn't be to packed at 4:00 a.m.  And I will still be wearing a mask. Just to start slowly. I know I've lost muscle mass. I may not be able to put on piles of muscle but it would be nice to just hold steady or gain back a small amount. 

I've also let my running slide. More than I should. And that is entirely my fault. My last really good run was at the end of September. I tossed a hard 5K in the middle of my run. 23:40. 7:37 pace. I hadn't run that fast since.... well I honestly can't remember. I anchored a triathlon relay leg in the fall of 2019 and didn't run that fast. But apparently the hormone therapy hadn't caught up in September AND I hadn't started radiation. My pace, energy and endurance went downhill faster than an Olympic bobsled. Which pissed me off and frustrated the hell out of me. So instead of suffering I spent more time on the bike(s). It seemed easier on my body. Less aches. Plus I could coast occasionally. When I eventually got to the top of the hill.  I could go farther with less effort, which made a huge difference some days. Maybe I should have sucked it up and done shorter runs at an easier pace. Some days it didn't matter what I did, it just sucked. And I couldn't wrap my tiny, proud, middle of the pack, weekend athlete, man brain around the fact that I was sick and my body was under stress.  If you're a "serious" recreational athlete ( and I use that phrase very loosely ) you know what I mean. The fatigue/tiredness/feeling of dragging an anchor hasn't let up-yet. I'm hoping that with time it will.  

Thus begins what I'm going to call Chapter Two. The Comeback. I'm going to be smart about this comeback. And patient. I do know I won't be back to pre-cancer Dustin overnight. I honestly don't know what to expect. I do believe I will be back to where I was. I'm hopeful I will be back stronger. Right now I'm happy to be running and riding. Despite all the grumbling and grousing, I'm happy. I'm sure I will get frustrated. I just need to work on that patience! I'm going to bastardize a Lance Armstrong quote and say all my days are good. Some are just better than others. 

My short term goals are realistic. I keep thinking they are too easy. But they're not. I need realistic and attainable goals. They may seem easy to some but I have to start somewhere. I'm starting my running with a 5K plan. I've set a goal for a 29:00 5K by March 13. That's 9:20 pace. To me that seems slow. Maybe I should say to the "old" me that seems slow. To 2020 me it means I have some work to do. This isn't a given. I need the goal and structure to keep me honest and get me out the door. If for some reason it starts getting easy, and I don't think it will, I can adjust the plan. By the middle of March my Lupron injection should be wearing off and I should be getting some testosterone in my system. Hopefully this will give me some energy and I'll be able to build some muscle mass again. I guess it's a game of wait and see.

My short term goal for the bike is get some power and endurance back. Again, I know my goals seem easy and a bit low. Again, I assure you they're not. I did a short FTP test on Zwift on December 13. I won't mention my result. I'm not happy. But it's a starting point. I would like to sneak in a race or two in 2021 and I need some goals and structure to get me to the starting line and over the finish line. 

At this point I believe 2021 will be a rebuilding year for me. I will be entering a new age group (60-64) at the beginning of the year. To me that means new competition and a chance for new PB's. I don't plan on setting the world on fire. But I want to be competitive. That doesn't mean winning. It means doing the best I can. Maybe a step faster than 2020 me. If that's DFL, fine. I can deal with that as long as I give it my all. 

I'll also be honest and admit I don't know what 2021 will bring health-wise. I believe I have kicked cancer's ass. We'll see. I don't have another follow up visit until the beginning of March. Until then it's wait and see. In "The Rancid Walnut" R. Steven Heaps wrote that PSA stands for Periodic Simulation of Anxiety. That's what it will be like until March! Whatever 2021 brings, Chapter Two will be interesting. 

Thanks again for following this crazy journey. It's a story I never imagined writing. Now I can't imagine not chronicling it. …”sometimes we don’t reveal our secret stories for ourselves but for others whose secret stories are the same-and the secret wants out.” (Michael Perry-Montaigne In Barn Boots)

Leave comments. Ask questions. I'll address any and all of them. With more information than you might want!

FUCK CANCER!

Listen up boy!!

Welcome back!

When I began this post I felt the need to do a little more mental purging. Not sure why. Maybe the craptastic weather - mid 30's and 35 mph wind gusts. Apparently I'm not as hardy as I imagine myself to be. So instead of putting on my big boy pants and venturing outside, I began to empty my mind. 

After my post about acceptance I have realized I'm not doing very well on that front. I'm a little hard of hearing. And I've been told I'm a bit stubborn. I need to listen to what my body is trying to tell me. I'm trying but most days I am having a hard time accepting that I can't keep up. That I can't hit my goal paces. That I can't ride or run the distance I would like. 

I know that I need to relax. Believe me, multiple people remind almost every day that my body is fighting and trying to heal. And I know that. It seems that my mind doesn't want to listen to my body. 

It's a battle I've been fighting as long as I can recall. I've lined up on the start line of a 40 mile mountain bike race after being told I should be under bed rest for back spasms. I started a cross country ski race with a fever up around 101°F. I've apparently broken and cracked bones and continued riding, running and working out (that's what my latest bone scan showed.) I guess I don't listen well!

Lately the weather is my biggest enemy. In central Wisconsin the weather has been very fall-like. Except for a few nice days in the 70's it has been cold and windy. Most days not enough to keep me inside but enough to make riding or running, shall we say, interesting. I generally try and head out in to the wind. And try to just go easy and not let Mother Nature get me down. I've had two rides recently where I didn't do well on that front. The headwinds frustrated me. Pissed me off. I almost let it defeat me. I kept looking down at my Garmin and seeing my speed. WTF! That can't be right! A little uphill and a headwind and I'm almost down to single digits. And there's nothing more in the tank. 

My Thursday ride and Friday run last week were perfect examples of my stubbornness and difficulty realizing that I'm not pre-radiation Dustin. I probably put in more miles than was wise on Thursday. The wind on my way out to Saxeville seemed to suck the energy out of my legs. I got home and admitted to Tammy that I almost gave up. I wanted to walk up a hill on Long Lake Road I would normally power up. I damn near got out my phone and called for a ride home. I seriously wanted to quit. That has never happened before. My run Friday was no better. I tried, key word tried to do my 5K scheduled workout. It called for a 10 minute warmup, 1.5 mile time trial and 10 minute cool down. All I can say is that it was very humbling. I'll admit it was a pretty good uphill run on the Wau-King trail heading up to the High School. Still.....my little time trial felt ridiculously hard. It felt like race pace. I won't even add the pace. My heart rate was higher than it should have been for the pace. By the time I went for a ride Saturday I was depressed and beaten. Another headwind. I did my best to relax and not look at my speed. I will admit I did better than I thought I would. I kept telling myself it's just a damn ride! Be glad you're out riding! Once I got the wind behind me I actually enjoyed the ride. I didn't feel better. Any hard effort was immediately rewarded with an instant loss of energy. The remainder of Saturday was spent on the couch napping while my body tried to recover. 

This week hasn't been much better on the listening front. I did a virtual duathlon on Thursday. I couldn't believe how slow and clumsy I felt both riding and running. Today, Friday I went for a little road ride. I know I probably shouldn't have but......again, I struggled with the wind. And felt horrible. Depressed. Demoralized. Actually angry with myself. I tried to relax and just spin. It worked a bit but then I'd look down and see single digits as I went up hill. Deep down my brain just won't let my body relax. I have some ideas as to why, but I'll bore you with that at another time!

My goal for the next week is to listen to my body. Really listen. And then take what my body will allow for that day. If it says "relax, rest and nap" then I will do that. If it says "let's go really easy today and just enjoy" I will do that. I'm going to pay attention and finally listen. I know I need to rest, recover and heal but that doesn't mean total inactivity. I need to listen and find that fine line to balance my days. I need to listen when my body wants to call it quits and then decide if it really has had enough or if I'm just being a big weanie! 

Just so it doesn't seem like all I do is whine, I am listening! I rode Tuesday, November 17. And it truly wasn't a good day. Instead of packing it in I relaxed and worked on flowing through the local single track. It didn't pay to push because I didn't have any push in me. So I guess I can be taught! Baby steps. 

Wish me luck!!

As always, thank you for following this endless stream of babbling, whining and purging. It helps me cope in a weird kind of way! Comments, questions and pleas to just shut up are always welcome!

Svenofthenorth

Keeping my head up

Welcome back! It's been a while and you know what that means-it's time to brush the cobwebs away and empty my mind. Time for an update. I'm sure these updates are a little boring and tedious for my readers but they do help me. It helps to put thoughts, feeling and emotions on paper, or computer screen to be accurate. It helps me process all of the above. 

I'm just finishing up week three of radiation treatments. Fifteen days done. Twenty-three to go. It seems like an interminable time to me some days but the end is almost within sight. Everything is going well, at least in my humble layman's opinion. The side effects are getting more pronounced as the days pass. The hot flashes are more numerous. Enough to wake me out of a dead sleep. Needless to say my sleep quality isn't up to par. Unfortunately the fatigue is catching up to me so the occasional nap helps keep me alert through the day. Add in some muscle fatigue and joint pain on random days. And a couple other very interesting and at first disconcerting side effects to keep me on my toes. Nothing out of the ordinary according to the doctor. As whiny as that sounds I really do feel good. I haven't changed my normal routine much at all. All my treatments are at 10:00 a.m. so that once I'm home I have the day to do what I want.

As far as that goes I'm learning to listen to my body and adjust my training accordingly. If you can call it training. It's more of a go with the flow type of schedule. I'm trying to follow a 5k training plan but that's a crap shoot at best. I'll probably end up scrapping the schedule but for now it gives me a bit of structure. My running seems to be taking the brunt of my treatment plan. I had a goal pace run scheduled for last Tuesday, September 27. 5x1000m at my original goal pace of 7:39-7:49 with 200m rest. To say it was an epic fail is an understatement. Then 3x200m between 6:24-6:54. I had a difficult time staying at an 8 minute per mile pace. And it hurt. I felt slow. My form felt like I was running through pudding. I was winded beyond anything I'd felt recently. The 200m efforts were a total joke. I've never spent so much time looking at my watch hoping the interval would end. And like a dumb ass I pushed through to the end. And paid for it for a couple days. My body was not pleased. Since then I honestly am paying attention to what my body says it is capable of for the day. It may be a short ride. Today it was a relaxing walk on the Wiouwash trail with Tammy. 

Last Sunday I was hoping my body wanted to suffer and do a little race. The Stump Farm Mountain Bike race was November 1. I originally wanted to do the 20 mile 2 lap race. After riding at Hartman Creek on Friday I knew that wasn't an option. I usually use a 34x16 gear on my single speed. It allows me to climb all but the worst hills and I can still push a good speed when the trails open up. But on that Friday my legs felt like they did a few days earlier. I struggled to find the rhythm I usually feel. I just chalked it up to a few bad days and overdoing things. The day before I rode with Tammy at Hartman Creek and tested out my Checkpoint gravel bike. To say I was pleased with how it handled the trails is an understatement. I even considered racing it on Sunday but went with my tried and true Crave single speed. I thought about changing the rear cog to a 17 to make things easier. Then I thought about my last race. The Reforestation Ramble in August was on the same trails. I did the 20 mile race that day and felt damn good. That wasn't how I felt after this race. I should have put that 17 on and hoped for the best.

The race really wasn't that bad. The temperature was in the low 30's. Wind gusts around 40mph. Light snow. Sounds like fun, right?! I somehow ended up on the front line at the start. I had an uncharacteristically good start. I knew a couple of the racers in my wave and my goal was to hang with them as long as I could. Tom and Don are always strong and I hoped I could stay with them. When the course hit the first single track section I was second in behind Tom. I caught him and we put a good gap on the chasers. My legs were feeling dead right from the start. Every short punchy hill saw me lose ground to Tom only to push and catch him again. Whenever the single track emptied on to the two track Tom would shift gears, stand up and gap me. Then we'd hit another single track section and I'd push to close again. Finally about the half way point I pushed just a little too much and took a digger on a soft turn coming out of the single track. By the time I got up Tom was almost out of sight. At that point my race went from trying to hang on to trying to stay ahead. I knew Don was behind me but how far I didn't know. I did my best to keep the effort meter at close to red line but the little hills were really wearing me down. I started glancing at my cycle computer more often to guesstimate how close I was to the end. When I finally hit the finish stretch I saw a rider ahead of me. I thought it looked like Ben, a good friend I race and ride with often. I had kiddingly told him at the start that he was my rabbit. I tried my damnedest to catch him but eventually ran out of race course. He did slow a little and we almost managed to finish together. In the end I think Ben and I both were pleased with how the day went. He hasn't ridden much all year. You know my story. Ben nailed a first place in his age group. I hung on for a second in my age group. A good day all around. 

I felt pretty decent the day after. My ribs were a bit sore from my tumble. I had the normal post race phlegmy cough for a day. Legs were sore but no more than usual. I've ridden once very easy and short since. Felt good. And I listened to my body and actually cut the ride short. 

I actually waited until the very last minute to register for the race. But I got accepted to be an ambassador for another great group. Mind Over Matter Athletes. I felt I needed to live up to that image and suck it up. Everyone else was dealing with the same conditions. Embrace the suck!

So that's where I am. I honestly feel good. Staying positive. And the end is getting closer. 

Thanks for suffering through this long winded ramble. I appreciate everyone who reads these posts and follows along. It really does help me process and deal with things. 

Comments and questions are always welcome. Until next time, get out and enjoy the day. Run, ride, hike, walk ..........whatever feels good. Oh yeah............and FUCK CANCER!

 

 

WHY?

I was listening to a podcast recently and the topic of "why" came up. Why does a person run or ride or whatever? If you lose your "why" does that mean you've lost your motivation? Or lost your drive to continue during a race when things go south? Does it mean you've lost that elusive "mojo"? And it got me thinking. Hmmm....imagine that!

All that has been going on this year really got me pondering on this issue. The first "why" that popped up in my head was competition. Maybe that was my first thought due to the lack of races this year. Obviously due to COVID-19 real live pin on a bib and line up on a start line races have been rare. I did two running events before the shit hit the fan. One in February and one in March. The one in March probably snuck in just under the wire. My next actual event wasn't until mid August. That one was different due to all the safety precautions. People weren't hanging out in big groups. There were no awards presentation or post race food and beverages. It started in small ten person waves. It was safe and socially distant but still fun. Just in a different way. The next one was a gravel event in October. Pretty much the same set up. A bigger start but everyone was wearing a mask while we rolled out. Again, still a fun event. I did one virtual event which was a new animal for me. Pick a date and time. Run the time for which I registered. Post the results online. I still got some swag but everyone ran when and where they could. I don't know about everyone else but I can't push quite as hard or far by myself. I need that race day adrenaline rush. Chasing down that person in front of me or trying to put distance on the person behind. I have a hunch that this will be the new normal, at least for a while. And I'll get used to it. 

Now before I get too far I should probably define competition. For me it means toeing the start line and seeing what I can do. I don't mean racing and winning medals. I don't even mean setting PRs. It's a me vs. me kind of thing. If it's an event I've done, can I better last year's time? If it's a new event, it's how do I stack up against the locals? Like I said above, I just can't reproduce that race day feeling. Racing elbow to elbow makes me discover an extra gear. Some days. And some days it's a very humbling experience. It helps me explore how my training has gone. Which leads me to another "why". 

Training. I'll just define that as getting out the door and putting in the miles. Some days may have a purpose or goal. I may actually be trying to follow a training plan for an upcoming event. Some days it is just to be outside. Exploring new roads and trails. No time or distance goals. Sometimes it's local. Occasionally it's half way across the country.  

What really cemented my "why" was the aforementioned gravel event I just did. If you've followed this blog you know I am having a little health issue. I wasn't really sure I would or could do this event. But I had two friends doing the race. And the opportunity to ride with friends on new roads was the incentive I needed to register. Those same friends helped get me through a day when I just wasn't feeling "it." That's what friends do. If you do a lot or running, riding or other silent sports you spend a lot of alone time. And I do enjoy that. Especially lately. It helps me think. Sort through problems. Relax. Some days it helps me take out my frustrations. I'm sure some of my friends and family are raising their eyebrows right about now. Yes, I am an introvert. That's likely what pushed me to do the sports I enjoy and to continue doing them. But in the end it's friends. Meeting old ones and making new ones. Some in person and some via social media. These same friends help me train and push me when I compete. But in the end it's the simple act of friendship. I may not always be the friend I should. And I'm working on that. And my friends, online or in person, need to know how special they are. I may never say that, but you are. While I was writing this I've been staring at this:

It hangs on the side of a file cabinet in my little home "office." And it's a very special note, at least to me. I'm not used to being anybody's inspiration. I do hear that on occasion and for some reason it makes me a little uncomfortable. And a little bit proud!

So, here's to friends! Old ones. New ones. In person and online.  Making new memories and reminiscing. Pushing me when I need it and pulling me too. If I tried to list all the people I’ve shared miles with on roads and trails I’d have to have a separate post! Believe me when I say you are all my "why." 

As always, thanks for checking out my random ramblings. I appreciate it. Comments, questions and suggestions are always appreciated. But keep them friendly!!

Don't count me out yet!

 I see it's been a few weeks since my last post. I didn't get lazy or complacent. I was waiting until I had something worth writing about. Now just whether on not it's really worth posting about is definitely my personal opinion. I could probably post every day but it would get boring quick and most likely be of interest to just me. 

My last post ended with me waiting for radiation treatment to start. That began on Wednesday, October 14. That was my first of 38 treatments. 7 1/2 weeks. Monday through Friday. Approximately a 15 minute treatment. The first week and a half are various times. By October 26 I have my steady time. 10:00 a.m. In a way it's a bit like going in to work. It's about a 45 minute drive one way depending on traffic. On the plus side, my shift at ThedaCare Cancer Center is a little shorter than a normal work day. And I get Thanksgiving off! 

So far the treatments are going fine. None of the possible side effects have kicked in. Yet. At my simulation the nurse made it clear the fatigue would occur. It may take a bit to build up but she made it very clear that it would be real. That is the one side effect that might bother me. I don't usually have a lot of sit in me. I may not accomplish much some days but I usually stay busy, either at work or home. A little nap now and then is nice. Not sure how I feel about napping the day away. Before friends and family (you know who you are!) lecture me, I will be listening to my body. When it says "rest" I will obey. I've already taken more easy and down days than usual. I've said on more than one occasion that training is all about learning to adapt. And I'm doing that. Trust me.

The treatments are quick, painless and simple. At least on my end. I check in at what I'm calling my second home, ThedaCare Regional Cancer Center in Appleton. When I check in at the registration desk I am given a swipe card. I head right over to the radiation area and swipe myself in. There is a waiting room inside and I wait for the technician to call my name. Once they call me it's back to the radiation machine. I lie down and pull my sweats down enough so that they can see the tattoos. Oh yeah, did I mention I can spend most of my day in sweats! I suppose that's one plus! Then I lie there as the machine does it's work. No pain or discomfort. Maybe long enough for a cat nap if I am lucky. Then I'm done! I can finally empty my bladder, which is usually at code yellow. If I didn't mention that before I have to have a full bladder. That can make for an interesting drive to Appleton. Everyone is friendly, helpful, polite and positive, from the person taking temperatures at the door to the techs. This makes a stressful situation easier to handle. So far so good. It's still early but I'm am feeling great.

Speaking of making my days better, I had a surprise visit from our daughter Lara and the girls-Kaelyn, Aria and Everly. They came down with a little care package to brighten my day. It's simple things like this that make this just a bit easier with which to deal. 

As for feeling great, I felt good enough to do a little gravel race on Saturday, October 17. Red Granite Grinder was held in Wausau. The temperature was in the low to mid 30's. A little breeze. And SNOW! Yes, I said snow. The start was in a steady snow. Covering the bridges leading out of town to make things interesting. The trail sections were snow covered and tough. The gravel roads were wet and muddy. And it was a blast. To add to the challenging and memorable conditions and make the day better I rode with two good friends. Todd and Suzanne Meerdink pushed me up hills and pulled me down the gravel roads all morning. My riding partners made the whole day! To top off the day Suzanne was second woman overall and first in her age group. I managed a first in my age group too. I know I keep saying it but it wouldn't have happened without Todd and Suzanne. I probably would still be wandering the back roads after my Garmin refused to work! Of course Tammy was there as support crew to make sure the day went smoothly and that all boxes were checked and nothing was left at home ("do you have your boots?")

That's all I have for now. It was a good week, all things considered. Monday it all starts again. And I'll deal with it one day at a time. I'm sure I'll have a less than stellar day here and there. I just realize there are others who are dealing with much worse and not complaining. I don't have it too bad! As always, thanks for reading and following along. Questions and comments are always welcome. 

Tattoo Tuesday

 Hi! Welcome back. It’s been a few weeks since I posted an update. There hadn’t been a whole lot going on so I kept quiet. Amazing, I know! But…now that I have had time to think, here I go again. 

In my last post I wrote about receiving my Lupron injection and how I was ready to cope with the side effects. I may have been a little premature when I said they weren’t a big deal. The first week wasn’t bad. I’ve got this! Week two rolled around and I was very wrong. I had a couple days where I was sure that someone or something was trying to pull my joints apart. It was a constant and deep pain. Biofreeze was my friend. Arthritis strength Tylenol was part of my diet. For a few days I chalked the pain up to my half marathon training program. The only problem was that I was starting to taper. Mileage and effort were going down. And yet I hurt. Hurt almost to the point of tears. I hate to admit that. I like to think that I have a high pain tolerance. Maybe not quite as high as I thought. I continued running and riding, which actually helped. I finished my program with my own personal solo race. I squeezed out a 1:53:57 half marathon. Not blazing fast and just under my goal. I’ve never been good at hard all out efforts without some competition, so I was happy with the result. It didn’t hurt that Tammy rode along to help pace/push/pull me. Now that I have completed that program I have been adding more time on the bike. That has helped ease the pain a little. I’m still running because the weight bearing aspect was advised. Just not as much. Maybe it’s time to add some speed for a 5K. 

Now we come to the hot flashes. I said they were a rare occurrence. WERE. Past tense. Now they have become a bit more frequent. And intense. Looking like I just got out of the shower. Like I am sitting in front of a nice roaring fire. And then it’s gone. Sleeping has begun to be a battle of temperature regulation. Too many covers and I start to roast. Toss them off and once the hot flash has passed I freeze. Sleep quality isn’t quite optimal some nights. But I am doing my best to deal with it and not complain too much. And for any female acquaintances reading this and dealing with hot flashes and menopause, I now understand! 🥵

Now to the title of this post. I had my simulation and measurement appointment today. And I got my tattoos. A little mark on each hip and one on my pelvic area. Last post I said things were getting real. This really upped it a level or two. As soon as everything is cleared with insurance and my treatment plan is finalized radiation therapy starts. Most likely within seven to ten days. Today brought me back to reality. Somehow I keep hoping this is just a bad dream. I know it’s not. Some days I can ignore things. That’s not  a choice anymore. But I won’t let this beat me. It may slow me down for a bit. I was told that fatigue is a side effect and a very real one. So, that means I can sneak in a nap without feeling guilty. I may be a step slower or a pedal stroke behind. But I won’t quit. I’m hoping to get in a race or two. Red Granite Grinder is in a few weeks. It would be nice to enjoy some colorful miles on the backroads. Stump Farm trail races are a month away. It’s at one of my favorite courses. I may not bring my “A” game but you’re going to have to work to get by me in the single track. It looks like I’ll have time to get ready for these events. 

Well, that’s enough for now. I will post again once radiation starts. I’ll have a a little free time. You may get tired of my rambling. I hope not. It helps to put my thoughts and feelings into words. As always, thanks for reading and following along. Comments and questions are welcome. Now, I think I’ll step outside and cool off for a minute. Don’t mind me! 

Ready for another challenge

Time for an update. Not really sure where this one is going. I'm starting on a Friday morning and hoping to be done by Friday evening. In between there will be a run. Maybe a ride. Maybe working on some bikes. Not sure. It's vacation and my plans are very fluid. I'm learning to deal with that, believe me!

I'm back! Did ya miss me?

It's been a good week, more or less. The Reforestation Ramble mountain bike race I participated in last Saturday, August 15, went well. Okay, better than I thought or hoped it would. It was only my third time on the mountain bike since surgery in May. I really wasn't sure what to expect or how I'd feel. I've always done well at this course. It plays to my style. Lots of flowing single track, some two track to break it up and not a lot of climbing. I'd usually say I'm at a bit of a disadvantage with a single speed but not there. The waves were ten riders every five minutes trying to keep age groups together as much as possible. I had a decent start and hit the single track in a group of three. We pushed hard to stay ahead of any chasers. About ten minutes in the lead rider lost a bit of momentum on a rooted climb in the single track. The other rider and I kept going, again pushing hard to keep a gap. The two of us worked together for the rest of the lap and the beginning of lap two. I was biding my time and trying to plan a good place to pass. I knew if we stayed together the entire lap he would easily out sprint me at the line. I stayed on his wheel as we hit a section of ski trail and when I saw more single track coming I pushed hard for a pass. Once in the single track I pushed hard to hold that gap. I kept thinking out of sight, out of mind. I know when I lose sight of a rider in front of me I tend to ease up. And it worked! I rode most of that last half lap assuming somebody was always right on my wheel. I ended up placing third in 50-59. A result I'm pretty proud of. I felt good, raced smart, recovered well, my support team (Tammy) made the race easy and started this week feeling fresh.

Thanks Gary Smits and XTR Photo for the shot! https://www.xtrphoto.com/

  

I had a pretty decent run this morning. I'm still using the half marathon program on the Garmin Connect app. Today's workout was a fast finish run. Now remember, fast is a relative term. What's fast for one is an easy day for somebody else. After a five minute warm up I was supposed to run one hour between 9:33-10:33. Believe it or not, I struggle to go easy. I tend to wander towards the low end or quicker on days like this. Then when the pace is supposed to pick up, I struggle to go fast. I tend to run in that no man's land that isn't slow, isn't fast and doesn't produce results. My past few runs I've really tried to keep the easy parts easy. It didn't help today when my watch struggled to find GPS. It kept telling me my pace was slow. But I knew from effort that it wasn't. But then my mind spoke up and said "Hey, maybe you really are going that slow." So I was tempted to push but I knew I was somewhere in that goal pace area. It finally locked in and of course, I was heading to the low end of the pace or quicker and tending to push. I reined it in for a couple miles before the hard efforts. The workout called for ten minutes between 8:23-8:43. Of course I planned my route to hit the hills for the harder efforts. Duh! I never claimed to plan training routes very well. I stayed on pace fairly well for those ten minutes. Next up was five minutes between 7:33-7:53. That's pushing for me, especially after one hour plus on a warm day. I stayed right in the middle and cooled down heading home. A good run that for a change I was happy with. 

The ride portion of today didn't happen. Messing around with bikes, one hell of a blood sugar crash, probably due to forgetting to eat after running and a powerful urge for a nap took up most of my afternoon. Again, I'm on vacation. No plan and I followed what my body wanted today. 

Now, maybe I should explain the title of this post and that picture at the beginning. The picture is meant to be humorous. Believe me, I'm taking this all very seriously, but it's not that serious! I mentioned an appointment with a radiation oncologist in my last post. That appointment was on Wednesday, August 19. I met with Dr. Michael Ray at ThedaCare Cancer Center. It was explained that my cancer is fairly aggressive. It has spread to the seminal vesicle on the right side. Good news is that it didn't spread to lymph nodes or bones. Dr. Ray explained things simply enough that even I could understand it. How the surgery went. Why I was referred to him. All my options. Studies that backed up his plan for treatment. I had a good (or bad, not sure how you look at it) feeling going in to the appointment. And I was pretty much correct. 

Here's what I'm looking at for the near future. I'll be getting a shot or shots to shut down my production of testosterone. Since testosterone feeds the growth of prostate cancer, we need to shut it down. Once testosterone is shut down, I'll start radiation treatment. Thirty-eight straight days. Yep-38 days. The treatments themselves aren't long, Approximately ten minutes. An occasional meeting with the doctor to check on my progress. The ten minutes isn't too bad, but the forty-five minute drive to and from isn't going to get old fast. 

Side effects from the treatments don't seem bad-to me. The alternative is worse. Just my opinion.  

After all this is finished, hopefully my PSA will be zero. 0. The last reading was 0.02. Low. Almost undetectable. Almost. Somewhere there is still a trace. Microscopic. Not enough to show on any scan. But still not zero. So that is the goal. 

I'm ready for the challenge. This is certainly not what I was planning for 2020. COVID is making it a bit more interesting. But I am up for this. Bring it on. I'm not planning on slowing down just yet. I may be down a bit but I'm not out! Six weeks of radiation may put a crimp in things, but I'll adapt. That's what endurance athletes do. And I do consider myself an endurance athlete. 

Whew! I've rambled longer than usual. I'll end this with some lyrics from a song on my playlist today. It sums up how I feel and how I'm approaching this next challenge. 

As always, thanks for reading. Any questions or comments are appreciated. Get out and run, ride or hike or ......enjoy the days. 

Made For This

Carrollton

I was made for this
Mind over matter
Silence the doubters
I have the power
Oh, I was made for this
I don't give up I won't back down
Goodbye worries no time to doubt
I feel the power, I won't be afraid
Fear won't stop me, I don't break
I was made for this

VACATION!

Good morning everybody! It's a warm sunny Friday and I'm in an unusually chipper mood. Not just because it's Friday. That means nothing to me with my work schedule. The way my days off rotate Friday is usually just another day. But today, or actually yesterday, I started vacation. 25, yes twenty-five, you read that right, days away from work!

Well now, what am I going to do with all that time off? I actually have no big plans. Due to COVID-19 most of the plans I did have are altered or cancelled. No problem. Adapt and change. One day at a time. I am getting pretty good at that. 

It looks like it's going to be day trips. Visit some state parks. Do some hiking on different sections of the Ice Age Trail. Try out some different bike trails. Hopefully a day or two to just relax, unwind and de-stress. A cup of coffee, a good book, Pandora on shuffle and maybe a nap. 

Of course in that mix somewhere is at least one more medical appointment. On Wednesday, August 19 I'll be seeing a radiation oncologist for a consultation to see if treatment is warranted. I'll be honest in that I don't know what to expect. I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to happen. I certainly want some definitive answers, or at the very least some kind of "here's our best guesstimate". I would like to know the plan of attack. I know this is always a case by case situation and nothing is written in stone, but some type of answers would go a long way to ease my overactive mind. I'm definitely not a hypochondriac but some days I can't help going to those dark recesses in my brain and imagining things I'd rather not imagine. 

All this being said, I'm remaining positive. Most days. Give me a break, a day here or there of "this really sucks" attitude is not the end of the world. And it kind of keeps me being realistic. I can't bury my head in the sand and pretend everything is fine. I joke a little and try to keep smiling and I do pretty well. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it! But, as Oscar Wilde said, "I suppose one must be serious sometimes."

I still have those days when I have a good workout and say I can't be sick. I had one of those days on my last run. I'm still sticking to my half marathon training plan from Garmin. My last run was supposed to be a long easy run. 2 hours between 9:42 to 10:42 pace. I didn't exactly stick to the plan. It was my first day of vacation so I figured I'd see what I could squeeze in those two hours. I went out harder than was called for or smart. I knew that. I wanted to see what was in the tank and how long I could hold on. I was hoping for a half marathon in that two hour time span. Fingers crossed hard. Both hands. I had one bottle of energy drink and a few energy chews. It was warm, humid and sunny by the time I started. This is starting to sound like a line from "The Blues Brothers." "I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire....." And I knew it would get ugly, probably sooner than later. Call it a learn how to suffer and finish workout. The first eight miles were under the low end goal of 9:42. Miles nine and ten were in between the goal paces. Then the wheels came off. And I mean hit a wall and rolling in to the ditch! I did the death shuffle/walk/how far to the f@¢king end. But I did get in just over two hours and hit the half marathon mark. I was pleased with the effort. My time goal for this plan is 1:54:00 which works out to about 8:45 pace. I'm not far off and I'm just over half way through my plan. If I was truly attempting a goal pace run I would be better rested, fuel and hydrated and definitely run smarter. Maybe a negative split effort. I'll pick a day when I feel unstoppable and can give it all I've got. 

I guess what I was trying to say there was how can I have cancer and still put out an effort  like that. I know it certainly isn't world class, but for an old fart like me that's a decent time. And I know there are people out there dealing with more serious types of cancer and making me look like a slacker. I guess some days it's too much for my mind to comprehend. 

Now I need a day of rest and then it's time for my first race  since March. August 15 I'm doing the Reforestation Ramble mountain bike race. It looks like two laps of ten plus miles. Rigid single speed. I'm going to have fun and maybe push a little. It looks like it could be a rainy day. That's okay. I shouldn't have any shifting or gear problems! I'm looking forward to pinning on a bib and racing. It appears the organizers are taking all the necessary precautions and working with the local authorities to make the event as safe as possible. Can't Wait!

Okay, that's enough for now. That's more blathering than usual. And my coffee is getting cold. I'll update next week with a race recap and how the appointment went. 

I appreciate all the folks following along with my disjointed rambling. It helps clear my head when I put thoughts in to words. Thanks to all of you that are keeping me in your thoughts. I appreciate it more that you know. 

As always, thoughts and comments are appreciated. Until next week....get out and run/ride/hike/just do something!

Svenofthenorth 

Every little niggle

Time for another post. A little late but it's been a busy week. Let's get down to it!

Training, if it can be called that, has been mostly good. I had one day that just kicked my butt. It was supposed to be an easy run day. But the run kicked my butt. The relaxed pace felt tough. I felt stiff and achy. Breathing was a chore. Not sure what to blame it on. Weather? It was a little humid out, but not overly warm. Work? Maybe but I had a couple easy days at work so that's probably not a good excuse. Maybe the previous workout? I did speed (using that term very loosely here) intervals the day before. Tough workout but not hands on your knees puking at the end tough. Hmmm..... maybe just a tough day? Nah, that can't be it.

That's where this title arose. Every little ache, pain, odd feeling was in the back of my mind. Now what? What does this mean? What effing next?

This is what happens when I'm running or riding solo and let my mind wander unsupervised. 

And I really had no reason to let my mind go to those dark places. I actually have had a bunch of good runs and rides. The half marathon training plan I'm trying to follow is going well. I generally hit the paces I'm I need. A few have felt really good. I'm starting to get a few longer runs and they have felt good. The last one was at the low end of the pace it called for and it felt decent. I had a couple of rides that felt good. I had one windy ride that felt good even going in to the wind. I'm getting comfortable on the bike again. Almost ready to spend more time in the saddle and ramp up the miles. Maybe even a fall event, if any are still scheduled!

So why the nervous Nellie attitude? Here's my uneducated guess.

Things are going good. Some days too good. Feeling almost back to my old self. But.......Monday I have my first post-surgery PSA blood test. Of course I'm a little nervous. All the what ifs are popping up. What if the number is high? What if it shows cancer may still be present? Then I wait a couple of weeks for my 3 month follow up visit. What will that bring? The doctor has already mentioned the possibility of radiation and/or hormone treatments. If that is the case, what are the side effects? How will I feel? Does this put me back to square one? Will I miss more work? More medical bills? What next????

Now, I know a few people I know are going to spit up their morning coffee when I say, "this isn't my general attitude". I'm usually upbeat. Maybe a little cynical and I will admit I have my dark days, but I am trying to be positive throughout this. But the niggles are popping up. If you do any training and racing, you know the niggles. 

They pop up during your taper. Every little ache and pain is the end of the world. All that hard work down the drain. That stone in your shoe suddenly becomes plantar fasciitits. An achy knee turns to a torn ACL. 

This is how I'm feeling. A little ache in the back is some rare disease. A tough day breathing in the heat and humidity are those "multiple small pulmonary nodules" that are "nonspecific and may be incidental" becoming something specific. 

It helps that I know I'm not alone in going down the dark road. I've been reading other posts from people dealing with cancer. When that next check up/test/exam is drawing near they get nervous. And maybe a little scared and angry. That's where I am right now. Uncertain, unsure and a bit in the dark. 

It also helps to know I've got a great team behind me. Family. Friends. Medical professionals. I know I'm in good hands. And that I'm ready to deal with whatever comes next. Whatever "that" is, I'm ready. I'm not down yet. I'll stay positive. I've got a hell of a lot of fight left in me, if it comes to that. Until then, one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. One pedal stroke at a time. 

Thanks for reading this and following along. As always, comments, questions and general observations are welcome. I hope everyone is doing well in these crazy times. Until next time......keep putting in those miles. No matter what. No matter the excuses. No matter the niggles!

 

No surgery is good news? Right? I hope!

Well, I see it been a while since I have posted. Time for the inevitably long winded update. I hope it's not too blustery!
I'll start out by saying my cycling and running season didn't go quite as expected. I healed well from my hernia surgery. Glad that's behind me. I made the decision to put off any surgery on my aching and decrepit hip until fall. So, now that fall is here.....
I had a follow up with my friendly and helpful orthopedic specialist a couple weeks ago. I was to the point where it was starting to become a bit more of an issue. Waking me up at night, aching more throughout the day. He scheduled another MRI to see what changes, if any, occurred since January. There seemed to be some concern with being able to reattach my labrum due to another hip issue. The results were in and - drum roll please - they weren't what I expected. No surgery! Now, this isn't because I had miraculously healed myself in the preceding months. Apparently if that was the case, I'd be some kind of medical anomaly. No such luck. It seems there is a small cyst on my hip. Right where the labrum would be reattached. And drilling and reattaching there would be like drilling in to a cave. It seems there is nothing there due to some arthritis and erosion from joint fluid passing through the weak spot. Now remember, I am not a medical professional. Pretty sure I don't even sound like one. Just attempting to reiterate what I was told. The doctor told me he couldn't operate on me in good conscience. It most likely wouldn't improve things. I would probably be back in six months asking him why he put me through all the pain, rehab, surgery and down time for no noticeable improvement. 
So, again, not sure this was what I expected. I had built myself up to the expectation of surgery, rehab, maybe six months of limited activity and a slow build up to get back to normal. Whatever that might be.
Am I relieved? To be honest, a little bit. I know I'm not a good patient and I'm not very patient. I know rehab would have been a pain and I'd probably have been tempted to push a little more than was wise. I didn't look forward to a relatively inactive down time. But I was prepared to do what was necessary.
Now what. Work on my flexibility. Strengthen the core as much as possible. Add some strength through weigh work (high reps and lighter weights). Add some yoga. Modify my activities to what my body can handle. Learn my limits. It might mean cutting way back on the running but that hasn't been determined yet. Cortisone shot(s) are an option if needed, but I'm holding out on that. Maybe come spring/summer when it's time to start pushing and ignoring those limits.
One thing for certain is that I'm not down for the count. Not even close. Maybe instead of trying to get what little speed I had back, I need to work on my endurance.
I am looking forward to a winter on the Fatboy. I picked it up this fall and I'm having a blast. I like it enough that it could be my go to race bike. I like it enough that I sold my full suspension 29er. I just completed my first race on it and had a blast. I love how the big tires carve through the single track. It gives me an amazing sense of confidence. Now for some snow!
Well, that's where I am. As always, thanks for reading this. I appreciate any comments, suggestions and feedback.
Hope to see you on the roads and trails! Happy miles!
Svenofthenorth

Getting back to normal-what ever that is!

If you have been following me, and I've been posting honestly, you know this hasn't been my best year. No endurance, lack of motivation, overall fatigue, no speed ( not that I ever had any of that to start). To put it in plain terms, just blah! 
I've never felt like this before. Yeah, maybe a few off days here and there. A sub-par race occasionally. An ache or pain here or there. But never, ever anything like this. It got me down at times. I would have the rare good day, but the crappy days and feelings were the norm. I was really starting to wonder if I age was starting to catch up with me. Not that I'm old. 
My better half, Tammy, kept getting on me to make an appointment for a physical. See what is going on in this once well oiled machine. I put the first appointment off. I just kept telling myself that I needed to train different. Train harder. Train easier. Cross train. Focus on one sport. Eat better. Lose a couple pounds. Add some muscle. The excuses were endless. 
The crappy workouts were endless too. I had no endurance. I'd plan for a long run - 15 miles or more - and end up running half that distance and feeling like I'd run twice the distance. A hard ride on the bike would have me beat for days. My plans for an ultra a month quickly went out the window. As did just about all racing. No WORS races. I did squeak in one 5K, mainly because it was just down the street. I did a 12 hour duo mountain bike race, but that was low key. Just for fun and to enjoy time with friends. 
Finally, I gave in and went to the doctor for a physical. Some well meaning prodding from Tammy (or were those threats) did the trick. It helps that my primary care physician is a runner. Not just any runner. An Olympic trials, sub 2:20 marathon runner. Sub 15:00 5K runner. He poked and prodded. Asked questions. Spent time really listening to what I was saying. Not what I'm used to in the exam room. He had some ideas, but nothing concrete without some tests. 
I gave more blood that day than if I'd laid the road bike down on a ride. Tubes of blood. For lots of tests. I think I was checked for everything! Then down for an x-ray of my back. I'd chalked the back pain up to age and work. And still to come, a stress test to see how the old ticker is functioning. No worries, just checking. 
And the results were interesting. Turns out I've got some moderate arthritis in my back. Now I know why it takes so long to get moving in the morning. Looks like I need to hit the core work again to strengthen my core. Maybe some yoga? 
Tammy wanted me to be checked for Lyme disease due to a tick bite a couple years ago. Good news. Negative. But...it appears I have babesiosis, a different but similar tick borne illness. http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/babesiosis/  Some of the same symptoms. I'm hoping, really crossing my fingers, that the medication will clear it up. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but after half a week of some icky tasting medication, I am feeling better. Just a little more spring in my step. We'll see.
The stress test is coming up. I'm more interested than concerned. It will be nice to see if the ticker works as well as I think it does. No matter what, that will answer a few questions. 
So, it looks like I need to listen to Tammy more often. And maybe take a little better care of myself. 
And, I feel like really pushing the training again. And I'm looking forward to racing. Let's see how things go for a couple weeks. Keep following along. This could get fun again!!
Thanks for checking this out! 

Accountability

I'm back! This could get to be a regular occurrence. I guess I have way too much rattling around upstairs. 
I had a pretty good week. Vacation will do that for a person. Relaxed, somewhat rested. No real plans this week. 
I had two excellent rides this weekend. 48.5 miles on Saturday and 31.1 on Sunday. Rides I probably wouldn't have done if I hadn't had somebody riding with me. Amazing what a little accountability will do to the training. 
I would have ridden, or run, these days. Just not that hard. 17.9 and 19.4 average speeds. Or that damn early. 7:00 a.m. on Saturday and 6:30 a.m. on Sunday. Wait, I thought I was on vacation!? 
Which takes me back to that word. Accountability.  According to Google-the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility. Most of my miles are solo. My odd work schedule contributes to that, but I think many riders and runners are solitary. It gives us time to unwind, relax, de-stress and think. It lets our minds wander and ponder and solve problems. It keeps our significant others from wanting to do us grievous bodily harm!
Without a little accountability though, I think our training can get stale. Even suffer if we're competitive. I can't push as hard or as far if I'm flying solo, roads or trails. Just think of your last, or best race. Could you regularly recreate that time or effort by yourself? If you're like me, and I hope you're not, the answer is probably no. 
Now add a training partner to the mix. Even if it's infrequently. Somebody to shag your lazy butt out of bed at dark thirty in the morning. When it's dripping fog and 100% humidity. And again the next day, when you just want to sleep an extra hour and let your legs rest. Are you going to do that without a little prodding? Again, if you're like me, probably not! But, the rides were good. They pushed me harder than I usually go and made me work for the miles. Even without any races on the schedule, it felt good to go hard, fast and long (for me). Get a little out of my comfort zone, which I normally don't like to do. 
I will still put in most of my miles flying solo. Like I said, that's a part of who I am and my goofy work schedule. But I appreciate the rides when I have someone along for some conversation and to push me harder than I can by myself. Thanks Todd, for the extra push this weekend!!
If you're a solitary rider or runner, find another crazy person like yourself and put in some miles together. You might enjoy it and it might take you places you haven't been, whether that be a new route or new levels of training. 
Enjoy the miles!

Wausau 24 - The 12 hour version!

Another lap finished!

My team mate, Wanda

Finally! Time to sit down, relax and spew out my thoughts on my last event. They've been few and far between this year. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. On August 2nd, I participated in the 12 hour mountain bike race at Wausau24.http://www.wausau24.com/ I competed in the mixed duo class with a great friend and awesome rider-Wanda. It turned out better than I planned, but harder than anticipated. That seems like a contradiction, but it's true. I haven't spent much, if any time on my mountain bike this year. It just seems like I've gravitated to the road bike this summer. No real specific reason. Just how things have been going. So, of course, due to this, I went in feeling pretty cocky and confident. I think I may have even entertained some smack talk about 24 hours solo next year!! Dumb ass!!  I didn't get a chance to pre-ride, which is probably a good thing in some ways and not so smart in others. I hadn't ridden at Nine Mile Forest in a few years. I had forgotten how tough and technical the single track can be. An 11 mile lap doesn't sound too tough. Again, dumb ass! Perfect weather greeted all the racers on Saturday morning. Sunshine, clear skies, a little breeze. A bit of rain on Friday helped knock the dust down. A classic Le Mans start got us off and running a short loop to our bikes. I lined up with another friend, Amanda, who was doing the 24 mixed duo with her husband, Darrin. We jogged/walked to our bikes and off we went. My first not so smart move of the day! After a nice roll out on some two track we hit the first single track-eventually. Due to being way at the back to the aforementioned stroll, I came to a complete halt waiting to enter the single track. And then it was stop and start for a few more minutes. It really wasn't a big deal, since my main goal was to have fun, but it would have been nice to be up a bit further in the pack. Lesson #1.  Pre-ride at least the start of the race! I finally got in to a good groove and started to flow through the single track. It felt good to be on the bike and weaving in and out of the trees. I felt comfortable and confident. Dumb ass! A few rock gardens further in the single track had us bunching up again. Still, no big deal. I relaxed and took my time. 12 hours is a long time, even as a duo. Plenty of time to make up time. Right?

About half way through my lap, I wasn't feeling as confident and cocky as I had been earlier. I was getting the bejeezus beat out of me. My hands were getting tired just trying to hang on to the bike! Oh, did I forget to mention I was riding a rigid 29er single speed? What was I thinking? I should have spent a lot more time on that bike. Getting used to the lack of any suspension or cushion. Lesson #2!

Finally out on to some more two track.Oh sure, toss in a nice gradual climb to let the legs relax! And then on to Ho Chi Minh!! I hadn't ridden this since ???? Man, I forgot how much fun it was! ( insert sarcasm here ). Actually, it was fun, in a challenging and sick way. I saw the sign about half way through that read "Daddy, make it stop, make it stop". Somebody has a twisted sense of humor!

Finally through that section and back on to some two track. And finally a chance to relax and get some feeling in to numb and aching body parts. And barely half way through the lap!

More single track followed, interspersed with enough two track to give me a chance to catch my breath and relax. I sped (crawled) across the line and out for another lap. Wanda and I had planned on riding two laps each to start. We did the first two exchanges this way before we went to singles.  Maybe not real smart. A look at the teams that finished ahead of us shows that they all rode singles. Lesson #3. Next year, one in-one out!

The laps and the day flew by. It was nice to have the extra rest time. On the other hand, it took me a little longer to get going with the long rest intervals. I enjoyed the down time watching the other racers come through. I caught up with friends I hadn't seen in a while. Planned for next year. Tried to relax and refuel. Oh yeah, refuel. I didn't do very well at the whole rest, rehydrate and refuel thing. Lesson #4. I had a great plan. Next year, put it in to practice!!

I rode consistent laps, once you toss the buffet line waiting from lap #1. 1:14:29 - 1:04:13 - 1:04:05 - 1:08:06 - 1:06:24 - 1:13:25. The last lap was my night lap. I went out for lap number 5 at a little after 7:00 pm and finished around 8:15 pm. I didn't really need my light for that lap. And I really wanted a night lap. Lap 6 started at around 9:40pm and ended just before 11:00 pm. Full on dark! I had a new NiteRider Pro 1200 light and I wanted to see how it worked. In a word-outstanding. Combined with an older NiteRider MiNewt on my helmet I had no problem navigating the trail. I'm pretty happy with how I rode in the dark. I new I wouldn't be as fast as during the day, but I didn't slow as much as I thought I would. A little practice and I could probably (hopefully) knock off a few minutes.

All in all, I had a great time. Wanda and I had a great race. We had fun, rode hard, had a few bump and bruises-nothing serious, and finished tired but happy and pleased. 6th out of 12 teams and about 40 minutes out of a podium spot.

I learned quite a bit. More than some one of my advanced experience and age should be able learn. Hmmm....maybe I don't have it all figured out quite yet?

What went right? I picked a pretty good gear for the trails. I ran a 32x17 and was able to ride all of the course. Even as I got tired I still could get up the hills and through the rocks. Most important, Wanda and I had fun. No pressure, no expectations. Just smiles and miles of off road fun.

What did I learn? I'm still a bit over confident before race day. 12 hours solo would have been painful. 24 hours? Insanity!! I still need to work on my fueling strategy. I always have a plan in place. I just never carry it out. I need to spend more time on the trails. Road miles gave me the endurance. More trail miles would give me more strength.

Now I can't wait for next year. Not sure what I'll be racing, but I'll be back either as part of a team or solo! i forgot how much I missed the trails and the racing. Maybe a few WEM Series races? http://wemseries.com/

Thanks again for letting me ramble. I know it's infrequent and long winded, but it helps me think and process things. I appreciate the time you spend here and all the comments!