Every little niggle

Time for another post. A little late but it's been a busy week. Let's get down to it!

Training, if it can be called that, has been mostly good. I had one day that just kicked my butt. It was supposed to be an easy run day. But the run kicked my butt. The relaxed pace felt tough. I felt stiff and achy. Breathing was a chore. Not sure what to blame it on. Weather? It was a little humid out, but not overly warm. Work? Maybe but I had a couple easy days at work so that's probably not a good excuse. Maybe the previous workout? I did speed (using that term very loosely here) intervals the day before. Tough workout but not hands on your knees puking at the end tough. Hmmm..... maybe just a tough day? Nah, that can't be it.

That's where this title arose. Every little ache, pain, odd feeling was in the back of my mind. Now what? What does this mean? What effing next?

This is what happens when I'm running or riding solo and let my mind wander unsupervised. 

And I really had no reason to let my mind go to those dark places. I actually have had a bunch of good runs and rides. The half marathon training plan I'm trying to follow is going well. I generally hit the paces I'm I need. A few have felt really good. I'm starting to get a few longer runs and they have felt good. The last one was at the low end of the pace it called for and it felt decent. I had a couple of rides that felt good. I had one windy ride that felt good even going in to the wind. I'm getting comfortable on the bike again. Almost ready to spend more time in the saddle and ramp up the miles. Maybe even a fall event, if any are still scheduled!

So why the nervous Nellie attitude? Here's my uneducated guess.

Things are going good. Some days too good. Feeling almost back to my old self. But.......Monday I have my first post-surgery PSA blood test. Of course I'm a little nervous. All the what ifs are popping up. What if the number is high? What if it shows cancer may still be present? Then I wait a couple of weeks for my 3 month follow up visit. What will that bring? The doctor has already mentioned the possibility of radiation and/or hormone treatments. If that is the case, what are the side effects? How will I feel? Does this put me back to square one? Will I miss more work? More medical bills? What next????

Now, I know a few people I know are going to spit up their morning coffee when I say, "this isn't my general attitude". I'm usually upbeat. Maybe a little cynical and I will admit I have my dark days, but I am trying to be positive throughout this. But the niggles are popping up. If you do any training and racing, you know the niggles. 

They pop up during your taper. Every little ache and pain is the end of the world. All that hard work down the drain. That stone in your shoe suddenly becomes plantar fasciitits. An achy knee turns to a torn ACL. 

This is how I'm feeling. A little ache in the back is some rare disease. A tough day breathing in the heat and humidity are those "multiple small pulmonary nodules" that are "nonspecific and may be incidental" becoming something specific. 

It helps that I know I'm not alone in going down the dark road. I've been reading other posts from people dealing with cancer. When that next check up/test/exam is drawing near they get nervous. And maybe a little scared and angry. That's where I am right now. Uncertain, unsure and a bit in the dark. 

It also helps to know I've got a great team behind me. Family. Friends. Medical professionals. I know I'm in good hands. And that I'm ready to deal with whatever comes next. Whatever "that" is, I'm ready. I'm not down yet. I'll stay positive. I've got a hell of a lot of fight left in me, if it comes to that. Until then, one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. One pedal stroke at a time. 

Thanks for reading this and following along. As always, comments, questions and general observations are welcome. I hope everyone is doing well in these crazy times. Until next time......keep putting in those miles. No matter what. No matter the excuses. No matter the niggles!

 

Week six and lofty goals

Back for another recovery update. I'm hoping that soon I can leave the word "recovery" out of these posts and just ramble on about training, goals and life in general, but I think that may be a while. My criteria for omitting that word is probably when I'm given a 100% cancer free diagnosis and when I'm back to "normal" life and training. At least what's normal for me.
The week of June 8-14 went much better than the previous week. I restarted slowly and really paid attention to heart rate. I slowed my running pace and just tried to relax. It doesn't make sense to keep pushing every day only to get further behind. I do believe one barrier to my training since returning to work is my schedule. After 35 plus years of rotating shift work I was lucky enough to get a day position about 3 years ago. Still 7 days in between a day off, but 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Three plus years of that when I took my little sabbatical. When I returned it was to 3 p.m. to 11 p.m shift. Construction and rebuilds/updates where I work necessitated the change. That means I don't get home until around midnight. A little down time before bed and next thing I know it's pushing 1 or 2 a.m. But, my body still thinks it should be up by 5 a.m. I'm happy sleeping until 7 a.m. If I do sleep in that pretty much screws up my day, leaving no time for a run and getting things done around the house. I feel like I'm constantly running on a half tank. But, I'm trying my best to adjust. I worked worse schedules for years and this is only temporary.

As for the lofty goal in the title, I'm almost afraid to say anything in advance on the off chance I somehow jinx myself. But.....a couple days ago I registered for a virtual run. https://ultrasignup.com/register.aspx?did=77584 It's a virtual version of a run I did last year about this same time. Titletown Ultra Series. Last year I did the 8 hour event with my friend Rachel. I think we managed to pick the hottest day of the year. But we stuck it out, took our time and enjoyed the miles. Like almost everything else, this year's event was cancelled. It is being replaced with a virtual run. There are multiple options for time and I opted for 5 hours. I figured what the hell! What's the worst that can happen? I fail and can't run for 5 hours? Maybe. On the other hand, I relax, enjoy a few loops through town and kick my training in the butt. I know I didn't give myself much time to get ready for this, but that's okay too. I registered on June 15 and plan on running on June 18. I haven't had time to obsess and overthink things. I don't have big goals for distance. I just want to last the whole 5 hours. I have a 4.75 mile loop planned from my home. That gives me a chance to refuel, regroup and rest if necessary. Once I press start on my watch I can't stop it until I'm done. No pressing pause. Since I don't have goals other than finishing I'm not worried. And just like last year, the weather is supposed to be steamy. Mid 80's and sunny. The plan is to start around 7 a.m. and be done by noon. That depends on what kind of night I have at work and how rested I am. I have the day off so the time schedule is fluid but I'd like to beat the heat if I can. If you're in my area and see me slogging along give a honk and a wave. And maybe leave a beer on my doorstep!

Well, that's about all I have for this week. If you are interested to see how I do on the run, I'm sure I'll post something on the Book of Faces and Instagram. And I'll fill in all the details next week on here. 

As always, thanks for following along. Comments, questions and suggestions are always welcome. 

#AlteredReality #LapItUp #Titletownultra

Coming back slowly

Time to empty my mind again. Things are starting to rattle around. 

I think, fingers crossed, I am getting back to where I was over a year ago. I'm hopeful that I've beaten or at least knocked back my case of babesiosis. I had a cardiac stress test and an echocardiogram. Both came out fine. I feel motivated to get out and ride, or run or anything for that matter. I even ran a couple races in early September. Just a 5K and 10K. I didn't set any PRs. But I didn't expect too either. But I felt good. 

I have that urge to jump in with both feet and really start ramping things up. I'm not going too though. As difficult as it is for me I'm going to take it slow. I'd love to do a fall half marathon or even a full. I even entertained doing the Fall 50. I need to build the endurance base I've lost and get back to where I was last spring. Back to when the miles felt effortless and a 20 miler seemed like a short run. I just need to be patient. 

I have big goals for 2015, at least I think they're big. Nothing firm yet. Stay tuned and I'll update my plans as 2015 gets closer. 

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read my ramblings. I've had a few posts I haven't mentioned. Check them out if you're so inclined. 

Invincible? Maybe not.

I've been thinking again. That usually means I have too many things rattling around in my head. Time to get them out and try to make sense of them. 

I have always thought of myself as pretty bulletproof. In my 29 years of semi-serious weekend warrior athletic endeavors, I have rarely been injured. Aside from the odd twinge here and there, I don't get hurt. No major bike mishaps. No muscle tears. No broken bones. No torn ACL, MCL or any other alphabetical combination. 

This may be pure luck, good genes, or my choice, wise training. But, this situation seems to be slowly changing. 

In the last year, I've had an unusual number of injuries and aches. 

After running more miles than I ever have last spring, my right foot started acting up. I even went to the doctor (gasp!) to have it checked. Never did come up with a firm diagnosis, and it seems to be 99% better.

I took a tumble in a local 5K when I tripped over a crack in the pavement. Bloody knees and hands. And then a left knee that ached for months. It even affected my spring 50K. 

A tweaked back late summer. Sore hip and hamstring after the Fall 50. I crossed skis just last week and went down. Landed awkwardly on one hand. Something tore/popped/sprained in my thumb. Still aches and can't grip anything. 

And I've been taking more rest days. Just because (gasp again) I'm tired! That never used to happen. 

Could it be that time and age are finally catching up with me? Triple gasp!!!

It looks I need to keep training smart. Quality vs. quantity. I do realize I'm not a kid anymore. On the other hand, I'm not going to let my advancing dotage slow me anymore than I can help. 

Keep following along and see what I can hobble through this year. I have some big ideas and plans. More on that later.