Every little niggle

Time for another post. A little late but it's been a busy week. Let's get down to it!

Training, if it can be called that, has been mostly good. I had one day that just kicked my butt. It was supposed to be an easy run day. But the run kicked my butt. The relaxed pace felt tough. I felt stiff and achy. Breathing was a chore. Not sure what to blame it on. Weather? It was a little humid out, but not overly warm. Work? Maybe but I had a couple easy days at work so that's probably not a good excuse. Maybe the previous workout? I did speed (using that term very loosely here) intervals the day before. Tough workout but not hands on your knees puking at the end tough. Hmmm..... maybe just a tough day? Nah, that can't be it.

That's where this title arose. Every little ache, pain, odd feeling was in the back of my mind. Now what? What does this mean? What effing next?

This is what happens when I'm running or riding solo and let my mind wander unsupervised. 

And I really had no reason to let my mind go to those dark places. I actually have had a bunch of good runs and rides. The half marathon training plan I'm trying to follow is going well. I generally hit the paces I'm I need. A few have felt really good. I'm starting to get a few longer runs and they have felt good. The last one was at the low end of the pace it called for and it felt decent. I had a couple of rides that felt good. I had one windy ride that felt good even going in to the wind. I'm getting comfortable on the bike again. Almost ready to spend more time in the saddle and ramp up the miles. Maybe even a fall event, if any are still scheduled!

So why the nervous Nellie attitude? Here's my uneducated guess.

Things are going good. Some days too good. Feeling almost back to my old self. But.......Monday I have my first post-surgery PSA blood test. Of course I'm a little nervous. All the what ifs are popping up. What if the number is high? What if it shows cancer may still be present? Then I wait a couple of weeks for my 3 month follow up visit. What will that bring? The doctor has already mentioned the possibility of radiation and/or hormone treatments. If that is the case, what are the side effects? How will I feel? Does this put me back to square one? Will I miss more work? More medical bills? What next????

Now, I know a few people I know are going to spit up their morning coffee when I say, "this isn't my general attitude". I'm usually upbeat. Maybe a little cynical and I will admit I have my dark days, but I am trying to be positive throughout this. But the niggles are popping up. If you do any training and racing, you know the niggles. 

They pop up during your taper. Every little ache and pain is the end of the world. All that hard work down the drain. That stone in your shoe suddenly becomes plantar fasciitits. An achy knee turns to a torn ACL. 

This is how I'm feeling. A little ache in the back is some rare disease. A tough day breathing in the heat and humidity are those "multiple small pulmonary nodules" that are "nonspecific and may be incidental" becoming something specific. 

It helps that I know I'm not alone in going down the dark road. I've been reading other posts from people dealing with cancer. When that next check up/test/exam is drawing near they get nervous. And maybe a little scared and angry. That's where I am right now. Uncertain, unsure and a bit in the dark. 

It also helps to know I've got a great team behind me. Family. Friends. Medical professionals. I know I'm in good hands. And that I'm ready to deal with whatever comes next. Whatever "that" is, I'm ready. I'm not down yet. I'll stay positive. I've got a hell of a lot of fight left in me, if it comes to that. Until then, one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. One pedal stroke at a time. 

Thanks for reading this and following along. As always, comments, questions and general observations are welcome. I hope everyone is doing well in these crazy times. Until next time......keep putting in those miles. No matter what. No matter the excuses. No matter the niggles!

 

Coming to grips with it

Back for another post. This will probably be more random ramblings than update. I haven't quite decided where this is going. We'll see where my generally confused mind takes me!

First, this isn't going to be a post about what the title appears to suggest. It won't be about dealing with any health issues. I haven't had any follow up visits yet so it's steady as she goes right now.

This is about dealing with getting older and slowing down. I may have addressed this in a past post but if I have I need to do it again. Sorry.

I guess this has been rolling around in my mind since I got back on the bike at the end of June. I knew the first few rides would be slow. I was testing out how I felt. Checking to see if anything hurt. Making sure I wasn't doing any damage. The rides were mostly easy. I'll admit I pushed a few times each ride, just to see if I could and enjoy a little speed and pain. I put in 76 miles the week ending July 5 and 83 miles for the week ending July 12. That may seem like a big jump from 0 miles. Again, very easy. Usually 30ish miles or less. I was a bit tight and sore after a couple rides but that's just getting back my bike muscles. What kept rumbling around in my head was how quickly I tired when I did push the effort up a notch or two. My legs tired faster than normal. It felt like I was trying to breathe through a straw. I don't think the tingling sensation and black spots in my vision were normal either. Just kidding-maybe!? 

My last ride was a nice loop over to Weyauwega. I hit some roads I haven't been down before. I always wondered where they went and it seemed like a good day to explore. I put in a good effort a couple times but again I ran out of steam so fast. When I hit Weyauwega and the headwind back to Waupaca I was beat. My head was down, shoulders slumped and I felt defeated.

I had a run earlier in the week that left me feeling the same way. It was a 5 mile progression run. Easy warm up. 20 minutes at 9:42-10:42 pace. No problem. The pace was towards the quick end of that range. I felt good. Then it was 10 minutes at 7:42-8:02 pace. Whoa! Who tossed out the anchor. It just wasn't there! I managed low 8's but nowhere near what the plan called for. Now, maybe speed work repeats the day before in the heat weren't wise, but again, that's what the plan called for. And they felt good. Fast and comfortable leg turnover. Decent recovery between efforts. I got back from that progression run feeling down and really beating myself up inside. 

A few days rest and rumination and I'm feeling better about myself and my fitness. Not 100% pleased but "coming to grips with it"! I realize and I'm trying to accept that I'm not 40 anymore. Or even 50. Days of constant shift work, training and racing on the weekend are long past. Knowing with confidence that I can hit all the marks in my training are long gone. Lining up at a local race and knowing I'm prepared and strong are memories. 

Now, before everyone chimes in, I'm not looking for pity. I know I'm lucky. I am still able to put one foot in front of the other and toss a leg over my bikes. And I'm am beyond grateful for that. Not everyone who wants that is able to do that. I was living in the past for a few days. Not exactly glory days but better days. 

Okay, enough whining. My solution is to enjoy every mile. Some may not be what I want or expect, but they will all be appreciated. Solo miles. Miles with friends. Easy days and competition. At the end of the day every turn of the pedal and every foot fall. It's a better option than sulking on the couch and wishing for tailwinds and sunny days. My days of PR's and KOM's are mostly done. My days of getting outside and enjoying new backroads and fresh trails are not over. 

All right, enough bitching for today. I'm enjoying a rare unplanned day off. I'm waiting for the rain to end and the skies to clear. The plan calls for strides today. And they'll get done. I'm not going to dwell on paces. It is what it is. That may be cliche, but it's true. I'm not a professional and nothing is hinging on my workout. If the legs feel good I may even sneak out for a little ride. And I'll enjoy every mile. Trust me!

As always, thanks for reading. I welcome comments, good or bad! Until next week....smile and enjoy the miles for what they are!

Rest and going slowly

Back for another recovery update! Week five has come and gone. I'd like to say I'm happy with how it went and how I'm doing. I'd really like to say that, but I'd be lying.

I was cleared to return to work last week and started on Tuesday, May 2nd. Of course I waited until the hottest day of the season so far. Mid 90's. High humidity. And it was the 3pm-11pm shift. Might as well wait until the heat of the day, right. Now add in seven days straight without a day off. Now add in a few harder, longer runs (relatively speaking of course). Can you see where this is going?

I started adding in some steady runs at the beginning of the week. No walk breaks. Probably a bit harder than was wise. I ended up with just over 28 miles for the week. Not a big total. If I was in the middle of a normal year. Obviously not the case this year. I noticed early in the week that my heart rate was high relative to my pace. By the end of the week my resting heart rate in the morning was elevated along with my heart rate variability readings. I had a hard time catching my breath while running at what normally would be a moderate pace. Not a good sign. 

Now, before people start saying "dumb ass, what did you expect", I quickly adjusted my training. Although I'm not really sure I'm ready to call it training yet. By the weekend I was back to easy walking. Time to reset and restart. If I know myself, and sometimes I'm not sure I do, this probably won't be the last time! I suppose I need to actually heed the saying at the top of this post. 

This week has started much better. A couple easy runs. Toss in short walk breaks. Keeping the pace very easy. Paying attention to my heart rate. Adding in yoga and even some meditation. So far, so good. 

I guess it all goes back to that damn "P"word again. Patience. I'm sure it will come back to bite me in the ass a few more times. But I am trying. I can hear my bikes calling from the garage. "Just a short and easy spin. Couple miles. We'll be gentle. C'mon!" I'm ignoring them. For now!

Short and sweet this week. Let's see how the week plays out. Hopefully next week's post is positive news.
As always, thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome! Happy miles!!

And there it was! Gone!

Not exactly sure where this post will go. It's starting (before editing) as a kind of an early year end recap. Maybe a preview of 2015 goals. Or maybe it will just end up as a rambling post as I try to sort things out.
This hasn't been the year I had planned on about this time in 2013. Not to brag, but I think I had an awesome 2013. I ran more than I ever had, farther than I ever had, spent a little time on the bike, and most important, I had a blast! I really, truly enjoyed the miles. I felt amazing, unstoppable. And then......
Wham!! 2014 showed up and kicked my ass. First I chalked it up to getting older. Not making excuses. Just finally showing my age and not being so much a genetic freak, as I have been labeled. I felt slow and lethargic. I started out the year on the cross country skis. I had a couple good days on the skis. Sunshine, effortless glide and the uphills seemed easy. Okay, not easy, but they didn't seem too bad. But they were few and far between. The Birkie kicked my butt, but I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Mother Nature had something to do with that. So I wasn't too concerned.
I hit the road for some running miles in anticipation of a big summer of running. My goal had been a marathon or ultra every month from May to October. Maybe a bit ambitious, but I felt it was achievable. First up was the Ice Age 50K. That didn't go well. If you're interested, you can read about that in a previous post.
So, I readjusted and reevaluated. I scaled back my plans and goals. Maybe a change of scenery would help. So I gave the running shoes a bit of a rest and put some miles on the bike. Lots of miles compared to 2013. Lots of commuting miles. Some really good recreational rides with some great people. Thanks Todd!! I did a 12 hour mountain bike relay and had a blast. Thanks, Wanda! And the summer started looking better than the spring.
I even listened to some wise and sage advice and saw my family physician for a physical. I mentioned all my little aches, pains and fatigue. . I think it helped that he is also a runner (and a damn good one too). He didn't just tell me to rest and take it easy. He understood my concerns. Blood was drawn,  x rays were taken and tests were run. I got some answers. After a short round of some icky medicine, I started to feel better. Finally!!
I had a good month or so at the end of summer.I ran a few late summer/early fall races. Felt good. Not fast, but I was okay with that. Had fun. That's the main thing. I felt like I was getting my mojo back. My motivation was returning.
And there it was-gone! As quick as it seemed to return, it's stay was fleeting and I feel like I'm back to square one. The aches and tiredness are back, with a vengeance I might add. My back has been so sore it hurt to even think of running. I tried a bike commute on my last 3-11 shift. A beautiful autumn day that was perfect for an easy to and from work ride. I paid for that most of this week. I could barely move on Monday. A week of  rest and I'm feeling better. I have even tossed some yoga in to the mix to stretch the back and hips and try to add some flexibility. Maybe it's working? I'll see. I'm trying to be patient, but I've never been good at that. 
Maybe work has/had something to do with this rut. I've been working long stretches without days off. A few stints of three plus weeks without a day off coupled with shift work really seemed to take the wind out of my sails. 
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm whining or complaining. I guess this is just my way of trying to make sense and sort things out. And elicit some possible solutions. As with patience, I've never been good at taking or listening to advice, but I'm ready now. I'm not happy with who I am right now or where I am. I realize I need to make some changes, but I'm not exactly sure what or how. The one thing I do know is that things will get better. Of this I am certain!
As always, thanks for tolerating this rambling post. 

Accountability

I'm back! This could get to be a regular occurrence. I guess I have way too much rattling around upstairs. 
I had a pretty good week. Vacation will do that for a person. Relaxed, somewhat rested. No real plans this week. 
I had two excellent rides this weekend. 48.5 miles on Saturday and 31.1 on Sunday. Rides I probably wouldn't have done if I hadn't had somebody riding with me. Amazing what a little accountability will do to the training. 
I would have ridden, or run, these days. Just not that hard. 17.9 and 19.4 average speeds. Or that damn early. 7:00 a.m. on Saturday and 6:30 a.m. on Sunday. Wait, I thought I was on vacation!? 
Which takes me back to that word. Accountability.  According to Google-the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility. Most of my miles are solo. My odd work schedule contributes to that, but I think many riders and runners are solitary. It gives us time to unwind, relax, de-stress and think. It lets our minds wander and ponder and solve problems. It keeps our significant others from wanting to do us grievous bodily harm!
Without a little accountability though, I think our training can get stale. Even suffer if we're competitive. I can't push as hard or as far if I'm flying solo, roads or trails. Just think of your last, or best race. Could you regularly recreate that time or effort by yourself? If you're like me, and I hope you're not, the answer is probably no. 
Now add a training partner to the mix. Even if it's infrequently. Somebody to shag your lazy butt out of bed at dark thirty in the morning. When it's dripping fog and 100% humidity. And again the next day, when you just want to sleep an extra hour and let your legs rest. Are you going to do that without a little prodding? Again, if you're like me, probably not! But, the rides were good. They pushed me harder than I usually go and made me work for the miles. Even without any races on the schedule, it felt good to go hard, fast and long (for me). Get a little out of my comfort zone, which I normally don't like to do. 
I will still put in most of my miles flying solo. Like I said, that's a part of who I am and my goofy work schedule. But I appreciate the rides when I have someone along for some conversation and to push me harder than I can by myself. Thanks Todd, for the extra push this weekend!!
If you're a solitary rider or runner, find another crazy person like yourself and put in some miles together. You might enjoy it and it might take you places you haven't been, whether that be a new route or new levels of training. 
Enjoy the miles!

A short rest, and back at it

Definition of REST

1

:  repose, sleep; specifically :  a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities

2

a :  freedom from activity or labor

b :  a state of motionlessness or inactivity

(From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rest)

Or, another definition: something I'm good at ignoring. I'm great at squeezing in a quick 3 miler between quick changes at work and 2 or 3 hours sleep. It's something I've learned working shift work for 30+ years. Getting in a workout regardless of how I feel, whether I really need to or not. There's a key word in that last sentence-WORKOUT. That's how things were feeling lately. All work, no play. And admittedly self-induced. So some rest was in order. 

I can't honestly remember the last time I took a break this long-two weeks. Maybe never? Maybe a day or two. Injured, tired, extra work hours, .... you name it, I got in my workout. And 99% of the time I enjoyed it. Maybe not loved every one, especially when it was a tough one and my heart wasn't in it. But I got it done. That's how I work, and it's always worked for me-until recently. 

I could feel it coming on in subtle hints. Leading up to the Birkie, skiing was more of a chore than fun. The brutal cold and wind made some outings on the trail almost painful. The thought of heading to the basement to wax skis kept being pushed to the back of my mind. I did have a few amazing days on the snow. They kept the fire stoked, but barely. Running wasn't much better. The same cold, wind and snow made running a chore instead of a joy. Fighting the snow covered roads, unshoveled sidewalks and short days was a battle. Even a couple spins on the bike on the trainer felt forced. Everything hurt. My mood sucked. Always tired. I just didn't have IT, whatever IT is. As Austin Powers said, "I've lost my mojo!"

I slogged through the Birkie in my slowest time. Okay, Ma Nature and a foot of fresh snow may have had something to do with that.  The Point Bock 5 mile run a week later was a repeat. Slow, no fun, forced. Another week of almost dreading my workout and my body finally said "ENOUGH!" Factor in 23 days at work without a day off. Body and mind had had enough, or maybe too much.

The rest felt good. No worries about what to run today. Which wax to put on the skis. Should I do some intervals on the bike? Just rest. Read a book. Listen to some music. Try to catch up on some sleep. Deep down I had thoughts that maybe it was a permanent break. I though long and hard about deferring my upcoming 50K. The rest really did feel good. 

Then a couple questions from people somehow knocked me out of my funk. My long weekend off at work was coming up. Three, count 'em, three days off!! I was talking to my Mother and she asked what I had planned. Run? Bike? A co-worker asked the same thing. What was I doing with my time off. Some miles around town? I realized that for good or bad, I'm the guy who is out doing something, anything. It's who I am, for better or worse. I guess it's how you define me.

I slept a few hours after my 11-7 shift to start my long weekend. That's normal. I hate to sleep away my day off and it helps get my body get used to a few normal days of sleep/awake cycle. A few chores and then I hit the road for a run. Beautiful sunshine, brisk wind and cold, for March weather. A nice long run to ease out the kinks and stretch the legs. In hindsight, maybe a bit too long, but I knew I'd be a little sore. And I had fun. I enjoyed the sun on my face, the wind fighting me at times and then letting me sail when it was at my back. And I knew I was back. I'm looking forward to another run after this is finished. Not sure where, or how far. Maybe even a double today-some easy miles with my better half after she gets done with work. 

If anything good came out of this break, it's that I've learned that I'm not the guy I was 10 or 20 years ago, or even last year. Life is busy and hectic. Take it one day at a time. Have fun, and if it's not fun, try something else. Take a day or two off occasionally. My silent sports endeavors may define who I am, but they're not all that I am.

So, I'm back. I've got some events planned. I'm not even going to call them races. I'm my only competition this year. I can't wait to hit the trails, when and if the snow melts. I can't wait to take a long bike ride on a hot and windless day this summer. 

Follow along. This could be an interesting year. Thanks for letting my ramble and vent!

Sven of the North

How do they do it?

It is a damp and foggy morning here in central Wisconsin. I am hoping to get in a nice long trail run later today if it clears up.
The last few weeks at work have been crazy. It actually started in September. The company I work for decided to change computer systems. They wanted people to be trained in these new systems and then these people would train the rest of the employees. I have worked here for 27+ years and thought this would be a nice change of scenery. It is a voluntary and temporary assignment but would give me a straight day shift and weekends off for a couple of months. The beginning of training was quite overwhelming. The trainers/experts showed us how the system worked from beginning to end. About 95% of this didn't pertain to my little job. The overview was nice. It showed us how everything flowed (in theory). After a couple weeks of being trained we took a trip to one of the mills that already uses the new systems. It was a great help. We-the other two trainers and myself-learned more in one day than we learned in two weeks. Then we went back to our mill and began training the other employees. Still weekends off but it was longer hours. Usually 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. It meant getting up in the dark and getting home in the dark. Finally the cut over day came-this past Saturday, November 1st. The other mills had shut down to do this system change. We kept running, kind of guinea pigs for future cut overs. It went fairly well and we had plenty of support from other mills that were running this system. I guess I should say "systems". We were actually using multiple new systems, three in our department. I was at work 12+hours both days this past weekend. Long hours running around trying to find answers or people who knew the answers.
So, anyway, what I am trying to figure out is how do people get in their workouts/training with such crazy work schedules. I thought I used to do well by getting in my training while working rotating shifts. Now I am trying to do it working longer hours, back to shift work and probably no day off for three weeks or ??? I know I can run in the dark. I have lights. reflective material, and other safety items. I could bike with the same cautions and safety items. I have a treadmill and a fluid trainer and will be using these. But the time factor is overwhelming. Saturday morning I was up at 4:30 a.m. and got home around 8:30 p.m. It was not hard work but I was beat and just didn't want to do anything but relax for a little and go to bed to do it all over again. How does anyone train with crazy schedules? Any help here would be appreciated. Yes, I know people get up before work to train. This would probably mean 3:00 a.m. for me. After work would probably be 8:00 p.m. or later. I could do my partial bike commute but that would again add 2+ hours to an already long day. I am back to regular rotating shifts but like I said previously no day off in the foreseeable future. I am going to try my best to balance everything out. Work, training, family.... I already feel a cold coming on so we'll add that to the mix.
Well, it's 11 pm to 7am this week. I need to do some chores and get in my run, or maybe a bike ride. Then a nap before work and then start the craziness again. Again, any help, hints, ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Gotta run.........Sven