A first time for everything!

Wow, it really has been a long stretch since if emptied my mind! I guess I really didn't have much that I thought was worth posting. I'll try to keep this short, but no promises.
If you follow this you know I've been dealing with some health issues. As for the pesky parasite problem, I'm still not 100% sure that I've got that beat. As far as the hip/back issues go, well, that's another story. I've been trying to convince myself that I could train through the issue and I really did give it a good try. I took rest days, cross trained, you name it and I tried it. The end result is that running hurts. More than normal. Especially anything over 10 miles. It seems that even my gait has changed. I remained optimistic and even registered for one of my favorite events-Ice Age Trail 50. I figured I could put my head down and shuffle through a 50K. As the year progressed and my training regressed I swallowed my pride and moved down to the half marathon. I surely could stumble through that, right? Well, today I choked on what was left of my pride and contacted the RD and chalked up a first- Did Not Start. Not quite how I envisioned my season starting. I'll still be at the race this weekend, but in a supporting role, as Tammy run her half marathon. I'll be cheering everyone and enjoying the atmosphere. Can you say "more cowbell"!?
So now what? I'm pretty much tossing in the towel this year as far as running is concerned. My thought process is that the rest, both mental and physical will do me good. That doesn't mean I'm going to spend my days on the couch. I'm planning (hoping) to spend more time on the bike(s). The non-weight bearing component of bicycling doesn't seem to bother me. I've been putting in some fairly good miles with relatively little pain. Mostly just getting used to being in the saddle again. I'm certainly not fast but I'm okay with that-really! No, really! I realize I'm not a kid anymore. There will be more rest days and smarter training. Maybe even a race or two. I haven't looked too far ahead but I'd sure like to do an event or two this summer. Maybe a WEMS race. https://wemseries.com/ Maybe Wausau24. http://www.wausau24.com/page/show/175723-home
I like the idea of something with more endurance than speed. I think it plays more to my strength and years of working shift work.
I plan to commute more by bike this year. It's a bit of a logistical chore, but I can do it if I quit making excuses. Plus, this gives me an excuse to put some miles on what seems to be a growing corral of bikes.
Hopefully, I'll be lacing up my shoes again. I really do miss the trails and the long miles. It's where I feel most comfortable. I guess I'm already thinking about 2017.
As always, thanks for reading. I welcome your thoughts and comments. And hopefully I'll see you on the roads and trails this year!

Hindsight is 20/20. But will I learn?

It's been a couple weeks since my last post and I've been thinking. Scary, I know!
Not to sound like I'm whining but it was a rough week. To say I was tired last week is a huge understatement. No energy, listless and just generally out of sorts. The runs and ride I did were lackluster at best. I just never felt "good". That's the only way I can describe it. Nothing I could really put my finger on. But the time spent on the trails and road gave me plenty of time to think.
What really got me thinking was feeling like I was constantly sucking air. I felt like I could never take a good deep breath. Like someone was giving me the worlds tightest bear hug. I started to wonder how long this damn bug has been giving me fits. I remember telling Tammy that after a few WORS races back in 2012. I had races where my legs would feel good but I just couldn't catch my breath. I just chalked that up to not enough/too much/the wrong kind of training. Now looking back I wonder if maybe it wasn't my training but my parasitic pals.
That's how the athlete's mind works. I know I'm not an elite athlete, but I try damn hard. And when I have a bad day it must be something in my training regimen. And I'll bet any athlete worth his weight in sweaty workout gear will admit to the same thing, at least some of the time. It never occurred to me to see my friendly GP. Just train harder. Or - gasp!!!- take a rest day! Would an earlier visit have nipped this in the bud? Who knows.
Now a disclaimer. I know it's not a good idea to self diagnose using the tubes of the interweb but I prefer to call it research. Apparently my little shortness of breath can be a symptom of babesia. I like the term some of the web pages use. Air hunger. That's just what it feels like. Like I want to take a big deep breath but I can't quite fill my lungs. It feels like that next deep satisfying breath is right around the corner but it never arrives. I don't always feel like this. The feeling comes and goes. Sometimes it seems to be more in the back of my mind and it doesn't really bother me. Other days, or weeks, I feel like I'm trying to breathe through a straw.
I guess the gist of this post is don't hesitate to see your friendly physician when you don't quite feel right. People who know me well are going to laugh very hard at that last statement! The least that will happen is he/she will laugh and say "train a little harder"! Or they might dig a little deeper and find a little something and treat it before it becomes a big something.
I'll end this by saying I'm keeping a positive attitude even if it may not seem that way. I know I'm lucky to be able to get out and run or ride or whatever I may choose on any given day. I'll take the good days and enjoy them. The not so good days will come and go. And I really believe I'll beat this. Three more weeks, give or take on this dose of meds and then I will know for sure.
Just a few links if you're inclined to know more.
http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/babesiosis/data-statistics/index.html
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/212605-overview
https://sites.google.com/site/marylandlyme/tick-borne-diseases/babesia

Cautiously, but not overly optimistic

Ding ding! Round three!

Here I go again. It seems my babesia just won't give up. This time it's six weeks of the yummy yellow metallic tasting Atovaquone and Azithromyicin. It's been just over a week since I started, or should that be restarted the medications. And I feel better. At least I think I do. I've got a little more energy, although it's hard to tell on 11-7 shift. The joint/hip/abdominal pain is not as bad. Tolerable would be an apt description. I can manage that but I don't like thinking that way. I'd rather it was gone altogether.

 I suppose that's how I've been thinking lately. What am I willing to accept? How much pain will I put up with? I really don't like where that leads. Although it may not seem to be the case I've cut back on my running and cycling. And I really don't like where that leads. I'm not happy when I have to sit back and spectate. I prefer to participate. For better or worse, it's one way I define who I am. As I'm getting older I might have lost a step or two and I may not have quite the endurance I once had but I can accept that. We all lose a little as we age. It's knowing I should be able to pick it up, push the pace or go the extra mile and just can't that's been driving me bonkers. 

But I'm not going to give in and let this get the best of me. So I'm slower. More time to enjoy the scenery. I can't go as far. I guess I need to find newer routes to explore. I will just cross my fingers, swallow my medicine and hope I kick those nasty bugs this time. Hopefully by the beginning of November I'll have good news.

Back to square one!?

It appears that it has been a few weeks, so that would mean it's time for me to empty the old cranial cavity. I'll try to keep this short. No promises.
I just finished three glorious weeks of vacation. Nothing special during those weeks. No big trips or fancy getaways. Just three weeks away from the same old same old. Now it's back to the salt mine and shift work.
And it also looks like it's back to the same old same old when it comes to dealing with my little pain in the bloodstream pals. I thought I had my bout with babesiosis beat-finally. The dose of nasty tasting Atovaquone and some antibiotics led to one "all clear" test result while I was still taking them. Fingers crossed. Felt good for a couple weeks. No aches, no pains (okay, not enough to complain about), felt a little pep in my step. Maybe even some endurance sneaking back. One more blood test to make sure I had the evil little bastards licked. And guess what??? THEY'RE STILL THERE!!! I had a bad feeling even before the result came back. I had a few good days, but it seemed like the bad days were winning again. The achy joints came back with a vengeance. I had a few days where it felt like staying awake and alert was all I could do. I'm starting to feel a little bit angry, depressed and confused. Will I ever get rid of this? I'm not sure what the next course of action is, but I'm not very optimistic. I suppose that's the pessimist in me.
But, I'm not going to let it stop me from doing what I enjoy. It may slow me down. It may make some days shorter than I would like. It just isn't going to completely shut me down. So, if you're running, riding or ???? with me over the next little while, cut me a little slack. I don't mean treat me with kid gloves and go too easy. Just give me a chance to catch up once in a while. Give me a minute to get my wind back and regroup. I'll still be out there. I just may be a step or two slower. And ya know, I'm okay with that!
Thanks again for letting my use this forum to put thoughts to (computer) paper. That really helps!

And there it was! Gone!

Not exactly sure where this post will go. It's starting (before editing) as a kind of an early year end recap. Maybe a preview of 2015 goals. Or maybe it will just end up as a rambling post as I try to sort things out.
This hasn't been the year I had planned on about this time in 2013. Not to brag, but I think I had an awesome 2013. I ran more than I ever had, farther than I ever had, spent a little time on the bike, and most important, I had a blast! I really, truly enjoyed the miles. I felt amazing, unstoppable. And then......
Wham!! 2014 showed up and kicked my ass. First I chalked it up to getting older. Not making excuses. Just finally showing my age and not being so much a genetic freak, as I have been labeled. I felt slow and lethargic. I started out the year on the cross country skis. I had a couple good days on the skis. Sunshine, effortless glide and the uphills seemed easy. Okay, not easy, but they didn't seem too bad. But they were few and far between. The Birkie kicked my butt, but I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Mother Nature had something to do with that. So I wasn't too concerned.
I hit the road for some running miles in anticipation of a big summer of running. My goal had been a marathon or ultra every month from May to October. Maybe a bit ambitious, but I felt it was achievable. First up was the Ice Age 50K. That didn't go well. If you're interested, you can read about that in a previous post.
So, I readjusted and reevaluated. I scaled back my plans and goals. Maybe a change of scenery would help. So I gave the running shoes a bit of a rest and put some miles on the bike. Lots of miles compared to 2013. Lots of commuting miles. Some really good recreational rides with some great people. Thanks Todd!! I did a 12 hour mountain bike relay and had a blast. Thanks, Wanda! And the summer started looking better than the spring.
I even listened to some wise and sage advice and saw my family physician for a physical. I mentioned all my little aches, pains and fatigue. . I think it helped that he is also a runner (and a damn good one too). He didn't just tell me to rest and take it easy. He understood my concerns. Blood was drawn,  x rays were taken and tests were run. I got some answers. After a short round of some icky medicine, I started to feel better. Finally!!
I had a good month or so at the end of summer.I ran a few late summer/early fall races. Felt good. Not fast, but I was okay with that. Had fun. That's the main thing. I felt like I was getting my mojo back. My motivation was returning.
And there it was-gone! As quick as it seemed to return, it's stay was fleeting and I feel like I'm back to square one. The aches and tiredness are back, with a vengeance I might add. My back has been so sore it hurt to even think of running. I tried a bike commute on my last 3-11 shift. A beautiful autumn day that was perfect for an easy to and from work ride. I paid for that most of this week. I could barely move on Monday. A week of  rest and I'm feeling better. I have even tossed some yoga in to the mix to stretch the back and hips and try to add some flexibility. Maybe it's working? I'll see. I'm trying to be patient, but I've never been good at that. 
Maybe work has/had something to do with this rut. I've been working long stretches without days off. A few stints of three plus weeks without a day off coupled with shift work really seemed to take the wind out of my sails. 
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm whining or complaining. I guess this is just my way of trying to make sense and sort things out. And elicit some possible solutions. As with patience, I've never been good at taking or listening to advice, but I'm ready now. I'm not happy with who I am right now or where I am. I realize I need to make some changes, but I'm not exactly sure what or how. The one thing I do know is that things will get better. Of this I am certain!
As always, thanks for tolerating this rambling post. 

Coming back slowly

Time to empty my mind again. Things are starting to rattle around. 

I think, fingers crossed, I am getting back to where I was over a year ago. I'm hopeful that I've beaten or at least knocked back my case of babesiosis. I had a cardiac stress test and an echocardiogram. Both came out fine. I feel motivated to get out and ride, or run or anything for that matter. I even ran a couple races in early September. Just a 5K and 10K. I didn't set any PRs. But I didn't expect too either. But I felt good. 

I have that urge to jump in with both feet and really start ramping things up. I'm not going too though. As difficult as it is for me I'm going to take it slow. I'd love to do a fall half marathon or even a full. I even entertained doing the Fall 50. I need to build the endurance base I've lost and get back to where I was last spring. Back to when the miles felt effortless and a 20 miler seemed like a short run. I just need to be patient. 

I have big goals for 2015, at least I think they're big. Nothing firm yet. Stay tuned and I'll update my plans as 2015 gets closer. 

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read my ramblings. I've had a few posts I haven't mentioned. Check them out if you're so inclined.