Every little niggle

Time for another post. A little late but it's been a busy week. Let's get down to it!

Training, if it can be called that, has been mostly good. I had one day that just kicked my butt. It was supposed to be an easy run day. But the run kicked my butt. The relaxed pace felt tough. I felt stiff and achy. Breathing was a chore. Not sure what to blame it on. Weather? It was a little humid out, but not overly warm. Work? Maybe but I had a couple easy days at work so that's probably not a good excuse. Maybe the previous workout? I did speed (using that term very loosely here) intervals the day before. Tough workout but not hands on your knees puking at the end tough. Hmmm..... maybe just a tough day? Nah, that can't be it.

That's where this title arose. Every little ache, pain, odd feeling was in the back of my mind. Now what? What does this mean? What effing next?

This is what happens when I'm running or riding solo and let my mind wander unsupervised. 

And I really had no reason to let my mind go to those dark places. I actually have had a bunch of good runs and rides. The half marathon training plan I'm trying to follow is going well. I generally hit the paces I'm I need. A few have felt really good. I'm starting to get a few longer runs and they have felt good. The last one was at the low end of the pace it called for and it felt decent. I had a couple of rides that felt good. I had one windy ride that felt good even going in to the wind. I'm getting comfortable on the bike again. Almost ready to spend more time in the saddle and ramp up the miles. Maybe even a fall event, if any are still scheduled!

So why the nervous Nellie attitude? Here's my uneducated guess.

Things are going good. Some days too good. Feeling almost back to my old self. But.......Monday I have my first post-surgery PSA blood test. Of course I'm a little nervous. All the what ifs are popping up. What if the number is high? What if it shows cancer may still be present? Then I wait a couple of weeks for my 3 month follow up visit. What will that bring? The doctor has already mentioned the possibility of radiation and/or hormone treatments. If that is the case, what are the side effects? How will I feel? Does this put me back to square one? Will I miss more work? More medical bills? What next????

Now, I know a few people I know are going to spit up their morning coffee when I say, "this isn't my general attitude". I'm usually upbeat. Maybe a little cynical and I will admit I have my dark days, but I am trying to be positive throughout this. But the niggles are popping up. If you do any training and racing, you know the niggles. 

They pop up during your taper. Every little ache and pain is the end of the world. All that hard work down the drain. That stone in your shoe suddenly becomes plantar fasciitits. An achy knee turns to a torn ACL. 

This is how I'm feeling. A little ache in the back is some rare disease. A tough day breathing in the heat and humidity are those "multiple small pulmonary nodules" that are "nonspecific and may be incidental" becoming something specific. 

It helps that I know I'm not alone in going down the dark road. I've been reading other posts from people dealing with cancer. When that next check up/test/exam is drawing near they get nervous. And maybe a little scared and angry. That's where I am right now. Uncertain, unsure and a bit in the dark. 

It also helps to know I've got a great team behind me. Family. Friends. Medical professionals. I know I'm in good hands. And that I'm ready to deal with whatever comes next. Whatever "that" is, I'm ready. I'm not down yet. I'll stay positive. I've got a hell of a lot of fight left in me, if it comes to that. Until then, one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. One pedal stroke at a time. 

Thanks for reading this and following along. As always, comments, questions and general observations are welcome. I hope everyone is doing well in these crazy times. Until next time......keep putting in those miles. No matter what. No matter the excuses. No matter the niggles!

 

Coming to grips with it

Back for another post. This will probably be more random ramblings than update. I haven't quite decided where this is going. We'll see where my generally confused mind takes me!

First, this isn't going to be a post about what the title appears to suggest. It won't be about dealing with any health issues. I haven't had any follow up visits yet so it's steady as she goes right now.

This is about dealing with getting older and slowing down. I may have addressed this in a past post but if I have I need to do it again. Sorry.

I guess this has been rolling around in my mind since I got back on the bike at the end of June. I knew the first few rides would be slow. I was testing out how I felt. Checking to see if anything hurt. Making sure I wasn't doing any damage. The rides were mostly easy. I'll admit I pushed a few times each ride, just to see if I could and enjoy a little speed and pain. I put in 76 miles the week ending July 5 and 83 miles for the week ending July 12. That may seem like a big jump from 0 miles. Again, very easy. Usually 30ish miles or less. I was a bit tight and sore after a couple rides but that's just getting back my bike muscles. What kept rumbling around in my head was how quickly I tired when I did push the effort up a notch or two. My legs tired faster than normal. It felt like I was trying to breathe through a straw. I don't think the tingling sensation and black spots in my vision were normal either. Just kidding-maybe!? 

My last ride was a nice loop over to Weyauwega. I hit some roads I haven't been down before. I always wondered where they went and it seemed like a good day to explore. I put in a good effort a couple times but again I ran out of steam so fast. When I hit Weyauwega and the headwind back to Waupaca I was beat. My head was down, shoulders slumped and I felt defeated.

I had a run earlier in the week that left me feeling the same way. It was a 5 mile progression run. Easy warm up. 20 minutes at 9:42-10:42 pace. No problem. The pace was towards the quick end of that range. I felt good. Then it was 10 minutes at 7:42-8:02 pace. Whoa! Who tossed out the anchor. It just wasn't there! I managed low 8's but nowhere near what the plan called for. Now, maybe speed work repeats the day before in the heat weren't wise, but again, that's what the plan called for. And they felt good. Fast and comfortable leg turnover. Decent recovery between efforts. I got back from that progression run feeling down and really beating myself up inside. 

A few days rest and rumination and I'm feeling better about myself and my fitness. Not 100% pleased but "coming to grips with it"! I realize and I'm trying to accept that I'm not 40 anymore. Or even 50. Days of constant shift work, training and racing on the weekend are long past. Knowing with confidence that I can hit all the marks in my training are long gone. Lining up at a local race and knowing I'm prepared and strong are memories. 

Now, before everyone chimes in, I'm not looking for pity. I know I'm lucky. I am still able to put one foot in front of the other and toss a leg over my bikes. And I'm am beyond grateful for that. Not everyone who wants that is able to do that. I was living in the past for a few days. Not exactly glory days but better days. 

Okay, enough whining. My solution is to enjoy every mile. Some may not be what I want or expect, but they will all be appreciated. Solo miles. Miles with friends. Easy days and competition. At the end of the day every turn of the pedal and every foot fall. It's a better option than sulking on the couch and wishing for tailwinds and sunny days. My days of PR's and KOM's are mostly done. My days of getting outside and enjoying new backroads and fresh trails are not over. 

All right, enough bitching for today. I'm enjoying a rare unplanned day off. I'm waiting for the rain to end and the skies to clear. The plan calls for strides today. And they'll get done. I'm not going to dwell on paces. It is what it is. That may be cliche, but it's true. I'm not a professional and nothing is hinging on my workout. If the legs feel good I may even sneak out for a little ride. And I'll enjoy every mile. Trust me!

As always, thanks for reading. I welcome comments, good or bad! Until next week....smile and enjoy the miles for what they are!

Slowly plugging along

Back again! A few days late, but give me a break. It's a holiday week and I'm on vacation!

Last week was a pretty basic week. Nothing too exciting-other than I GOT BACK ON THE BIKE!!! It wasn't a long or fast ride. It was on one of my older bikes which helped keep the effort easy. But damn, it felt awesome. No pain, at least not after effects from surgery. My legs were a little sore but that was more from a 52/42 and 13-23 cassette. And maybe being a little bit out of shape.

My running has been going okay. Again, nothing spectacular. I've set a goal for a fall half marathon, if any are still being held. Maybe Whistlestop or the Birkie Trail Run Festival. It's mostly to give a little boost to my training and give me a training plan/schedule. It's a plan from Garmin and downloads to my watch. It makes it convenient and there really isn't any planning on my end. Just run when it tells me and try to stick to the distances and paces as well as I am able. It's still early in the plan so we'll see how it goes. Another plus for early this week was a nice run on the Ice Age Trail. My first real trail run since surgery. Again, not far or fast but I enjoyed every hot, humid, sweaty and pesky horse fly mile. 

This week is turning out to be just basic miles so far. Even the half marathon schedule is easy and slow, even for me. That's just fine since the weather has been close to 90°F every day along with swamp-like humidity. I don't really mind the weather but it isn't optimal for quality training. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Not much else is new or exciting. I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable 4th of July and you are all getting in some great summer miles. As always, thanks for reading. Comments and questions are always welcome. Until the next post.........

Ice Age Trail

Emmons Creek Barrens

              Back on the bike!

Lucky (week) 7?

Back again! I honestly can not believe I'm keeping to a somewhat regular schedule!

Last week was a mixed bag of training for me. I'm not even sure I can call it training-yet. I look at training as having an event on the calendar and a goal for that event. It doesn't matter if it's a race or non-competitive ride/run. Something I can attach a goal to shoot for. I suppose I can say I am trying to get back to my previous fitness level and count that as my goal. I still look at this more as just running. And hopefully riding soon!

I actually did have a goal for week seven. It was a last minute goal. And it probably wasn't a wise or well planned goal either. 

On June 14th, I was surfing the web and hit upon the Titletown Ultra Series. I ran the 8 hour event last year. It was a great event. Nice course. Awesome volunteers. I ran with my ultra partner of 2019, Rachel. We finished together and set mileage highs for the year on a tough and hot day. Of course, the 2020 event is cancelled. But wait.....what's this? A virtual event. https://ultrasignup.com/register.aspx?did=77587 Hmmm.....that looks interesting. But, it needs to be completed by June 28th. Not much time to plan, train and pick that perfect weather day. So a smart person would say "not this year. Not enough miles in. Still recovering. Next year." Notice I said SMART. At least I waited an entire day before signing up for the 5 hour event. And then I waited a whole 3 days before running 5 hours. Again, NOT SMART. I obviously need to put a disclaimer in my posts. I do crazy, stupid, spur of the moment things. I rarely think things through completely. I head out the door and hope for the best. Do as I say, not as I do! There, I think I've kept myself free of legal wranglings if anybody uses my training methods!

How did it go? Honestly, better than I hoped but not as well as I would have liked. Isn't that how it always goes? I worked 3 p.m.-11 p.m. the day before so I didn't roll out of bed as soon as I would have liked. I wanted to start early since it was supposed to get in to the upper 80's and get there quickly. I started a little after 7 a.m. Nice and easy. I had a loop planned and hoped for 5 laps. The first loop went well. Maybe a bit quicker than was wise but it felt good. Loop two wasn't quite as smooth. I had caught a toe on a short trail section on lap 1. Just a little trip. I wasn't quite as graceful on lap 2. I'm pretty damn sure it was the same @#$&ing stone that sent me sprawling. On gravel. A little blood. It seems it's not a trail run if I don't do some kind of acrobatic move. At the end of loop 2 I took a little detour on a shorter loop. I had a chance to put in a few miles with another runner - Brutal Becky - and wanted to be back to connect with her. Loop 4 was back to a shortened version of the first two. The conversation helped the miles go a little better. I think Becky was just making sure I wasn't doing anything to stupid. I heard a rumor that Tammy said if I looked bad to take me down! By the end of that loop I was probably doing as much walking as running. I was getting sore, tired and warm. The weather had warmed nicely to the mid 80's but a nice breeze helped and there wasn't much humidity. I shuffled through a few more miles and called it a day just shy of 5 hours. Just a hair over 24 miles. https://www.strava.com/activities/3634553825I have to admit I was hoping deep  down for 26.2. But, I'll take it! Just over 6 weeks from surgery. My previous long run was just over 6 miles. I wasn't well rested. It wasn't planned well. No fueling or hydration plan. These aren't excuses, just facts. So, again, I'll take it. I was sore, tired and beat at the end but not as bad as I thought I would be. I hurt the next day but by the weekend I was feeling good. The DOMS wasn't really an issue. I put in a pretty decent short run on Saturday and did some walking on Sunday. By the beginning of this week I'd say I'm back to "normal". 

Back to just logging miles this week. No plans. Honest! I want some nice steady miles. Easy, relaxed and pain free. I need to make it to Friday and then I have 12 days off!! And still no plans. YET! Maybe back on the bike for some short and easy ride next week. Shhhh.....

That's it for this edition of "What the hell is Sven doing now". Thanks for checking this out. And as always, comments, questions and "you bonehead" remarks are welcome. 

Thanks. Keep putting in those miles!

Week six and lofty goals

Back for another recovery update. I'm hoping that soon I can leave the word "recovery" out of these posts and just ramble on about training, goals and life in general, but I think that may be a while. My criteria for omitting that word is probably when I'm given a 100% cancer free diagnosis and when I'm back to "normal" life and training. At least what's normal for me.
The week of June 8-14 went much better than the previous week. I restarted slowly and really paid attention to heart rate. I slowed my running pace and just tried to relax. It doesn't make sense to keep pushing every day only to get further behind. I do believe one barrier to my training since returning to work is my schedule. After 35 plus years of rotating shift work I was lucky enough to get a day position about 3 years ago. Still 7 days in between a day off, but 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Three plus years of that when I took my little sabbatical. When I returned it was to 3 p.m. to 11 p.m shift. Construction and rebuilds/updates where I work necessitated the change. That means I don't get home until around midnight. A little down time before bed and next thing I know it's pushing 1 or 2 a.m. But, my body still thinks it should be up by 5 a.m. I'm happy sleeping until 7 a.m. If I do sleep in that pretty much screws up my day, leaving no time for a run and getting things done around the house. I feel like I'm constantly running on a half tank. But, I'm trying my best to adjust. I worked worse schedules for years and this is only temporary.

As for the lofty goal in the title, I'm almost afraid to say anything in advance on the off chance I somehow jinx myself. But.....a couple days ago I registered for a virtual run. https://ultrasignup.com/register.aspx?did=77584 It's a virtual version of a run I did last year about this same time. Titletown Ultra Series. Last year I did the 8 hour event with my friend Rachel. I think we managed to pick the hottest day of the year. But we stuck it out, took our time and enjoyed the miles. Like almost everything else, this year's event was cancelled. It is being replaced with a virtual run. There are multiple options for time and I opted for 5 hours. I figured what the hell! What's the worst that can happen? I fail and can't run for 5 hours? Maybe. On the other hand, I relax, enjoy a few loops through town and kick my training in the butt. I know I didn't give myself much time to get ready for this, but that's okay too. I registered on June 15 and plan on running on June 18. I haven't had time to obsess and overthink things. I don't have big goals for distance. I just want to last the whole 5 hours. I have a 4.75 mile loop planned from my home. That gives me a chance to refuel, regroup and rest if necessary. Once I press start on my watch I can't stop it until I'm done. No pressing pause. Since I don't have goals other than finishing I'm not worried. And just like last year, the weather is supposed to be steamy. Mid 80's and sunny. The plan is to start around 7 a.m. and be done by noon. That depends on what kind of night I have at work and how rested I am. I have the day off so the time schedule is fluid but I'd like to beat the heat if I can. If you're in my area and see me slogging along give a honk and a wave. And maybe leave a beer on my doorstep!

Well, that's about all I have for this week. If you are interested to see how I do on the run, I'm sure I'll post something on the Book of Faces and Instagram. And I'll fill in all the details next week on here. 

As always, thanks for following along. Comments, questions and suggestions are always welcome. 

#AlteredReality #LapItUp #Titletownultra

Rest and going slowly

Back for another recovery update! Week five has come and gone. I'd like to say I'm happy with how it went and how I'm doing. I'd really like to say that, but I'd be lying.

I was cleared to return to work last week and started on Tuesday, May 2nd. Of course I waited until the hottest day of the season so far. Mid 90's. High humidity. And it was the 3pm-11pm shift. Might as well wait until the heat of the day, right. Now add in seven days straight without a day off. Now add in a few harder, longer runs (relatively speaking of course). Can you see where this is going?

I started adding in some steady runs at the beginning of the week. No walk breaks. Probably a bit harder than was wise. I ended up with just over 28 miles for the week. Not a big total. If I was in the middle of a normal year. Obviously not the case this year. I noticed early in the week that my heart rate was high relative to my pace. By the end of the week my resting heart rate in the morning was elevated along with my heart rate variability readings. I had a hard time catching my breath while running at what normally would be a moderate pace. Not a good sign. 

Now, before people start saying "dumb ass, what did you expect", I quickly adjusted my training. Although I'm not really sure I'm ready to call it training yet. By the weekend I was back to easy walking. Time to reset and restart. If I know myself, and sometimes I'm not sure I do, this probably won't be the last time! I suppose I need to actually heed the saying at the top of this post. 

This week has started much better. A couple easy runs. Toss in short walk breaks. Keeping the pace very easy. Paying attention to my heart rate. Adding in yoga and even some meditation. So far, so good. 

I guess it all goes back to that damn "P"word again. Patience. I'm sure it will come back to bite me in the ass a few more times. But I am trying. I can hear my bikes calling from the garage. "Just a short and easy spin. Couple miles. We'll be gentle. C'mon!" I'm ignoring them. For now!

Short and sweet this week. Let's see how the week plays out. Hopefully next week's post is positive news.
As always, thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome! Happy miles!!

Full moon rides and trying to catch my breath

Time for another update. A day or two late, but I have a legitimate excuse. I'm back at work. As of Tuesday, June 2nd. Four weeks of lolling around the house. Trying to stay busy. Trying not to dwell on the negative. Trying to not feel sorry for myself. I think I'm doing well at all of the above. That's not to say that I don't have the occasional shitty day. But they have been pretty rare. Feel free to ask my better half, Tammy. She's brutally honest and generally won't tolerate my bad moods. 

Where was I? Oh yeah. Back to work. 100% cleared to return. No restrictions. Of course I picked the hottest and most humid day of the year to date to return. Mid 90's and air so thick you could cut it. For those of you that don't know me well, I work in a central Wisconsin paper mill. Blue collar. Manual labor. That generally means hot and humid weather is even worse at work. No air movement. Limited time in air conditioned areas. I think I did pretty good. Lots of water. Made sure not to overdo it. So far so good. 

On my drive home tonight after my 3-11 shift I had plenty of time to think. Beautiful night. Mid 60's. A few clouds and a bright, almost full moon. Normally, I would have been on the bike enjoying the picture perfect conditions.I really enjoy my bike commute on a night like this. Usually the wildlife is a bit more active. If the moon is bright enough I'll turn of my lights for a bit and just enjoy the moonlight. But not tonight. No riding for 12 weeks!! At least that's what the doctor is advising. And as much as it hurts, I'm listening. Not that I won't start considering sneaking in a ride after another month, but so far I'm behaving. 

That means I'm slowly, key word slowly, becoming a runner again. And that's tougher than I thought it would be. I knew after 3ish weeks of limited activity it would be a gradual comeback. But man, I honestly wasn't prepared for this. I know that fitness declines faster that it is recovered. But again, I just didn't know how much I had lost and how much I would struggle. I started with some easy walking. I gradually added in some walk/run intervals. Slow, but it was running. Tammy and I headed out to the Tomorrow Rive State Trail a couple times. We'd start with a nice brisk walk and after a mile I'd take off and head out for a couple miles of running. Tammy would turn around after a couple miles and I'd try to catch her. Normally it wouldn't take me long. The last time we did this, I really struggled to reel her in. I pushed and just couldn't make headway. If she hadn't slowed I probably wouldn't have caught her. A little frustrating but she admitted she was pushing the pace herself. Okay, I can deal with that. 

Monday of this week we did a similar workout with a little less of a head start for Tammy. I pushed fairly hard and caught her quicker than I figured I would. Tuesday was a short run in the heat and humidity before work. I kept the pace light but my heart rate was higher than what it would normally be at that pace. Chalk it up to the weather? Wednesday was a bit cooler so I added a little mileage compared to Tuesday. And I really struggled. I felt slow, sluggish and fuzzy.  High heart rate again.Catching my breath was difficult. Even while doing yoga and a bit of mediating afterwards I felt winded.  

I don't want this to sound like I'm complaining, at least not too much! I realize one person's slow is another one's race pace. I just am having more trouble dealing with recovery than I ever imagined I would. I apparently need to work on my patience. That means I'm going to back off a bit and ease up. Maybe come up with a walk/run interval and work on improving that way. And realizing that rest is a part of training and recovery. A day off won't kill me, right?

That's where I am now. Hopefully the next update will be a little more positive. 

As usual, comments, criticism and questions are welcome. And maybe a few training tips!

Thanks for reading. Until next week, get out there and enjoy the summer. Add a few miles on your next run or ride for me!