WHY?

I was listening to a podcast recently and the topic of "why" came up. Why does a person run or ride or whatever? If you lose your "why" does that mean you've lost your motivation? Or lost your drive to continue during a race when things go south? Does it mean you've lost that elusive "mojo"? And it got me thinking. Hmmm....imagine that!

All that has been going on this year really got me pondering on this issue. The first "why" that popped up in my head was competition. Maybe that was my first thought due to the lack of races this year. Obviously due to COVID-19 real live pin on a bib and line up on a start line races have been rare. I did two running events before the shit hit the fan. One in February and one in March. The one in March probably snuck in just under the wire. My next actual event wasn't until mid August. That one was different due to all the safety precautions. People weren't hanging out in big groups. There were no awards presentation or post race food and beverages. It started in small ten person waves. It was safe and socially distant but still fun. Just in a different way. The next one was a gravel event in October. Pretty much the same set up. A bigger start but everyone was wearing a mask while we rolled out. Again, still a fun event. I did one virtual event which was a new animal for me. Pick a date and time. Run the time for which I registered. Post the results online. I still got some swag but everyone ran when and where they could. I don't know about everyone else but I can't push quite as hard or far by myself. I need that race day adrenaline rush. Chasing down that person in front of me or trying to put distance on the person behind. I have a hunch that this will be the new normal, at least for a while. And I'll get used to it. 

Now before I get too far I should probably define competition. For me it means toeing the start line and seeing what I can do. I don't mean racing and winning medals. I don't even mean setting PRs. It's a me vs. me kind of thing. If it's an event I've done, can I better last year's time? If it's a new event, it's how do I stack up against the locals? Like I said above, I just can't reproduce that race day feeling. Racing elbow to elbow makes me discover an extra gear. Some days. And some days it's a very humbling experience. It helps me explore how my training has gone. Which leads me to another "why". 

Training. I'll just define that as getting out the door and putting in the miles. Some days may have a purpose or goal. I may actually be trying to follow a training plan for an upcoming event. Some days it is just to be outside. Exploring new roads and trails. No time or distance goals. Sometimes it's local. Occasionally it's half way across the country.  

What really cemented my "why" was the aforementioned gravel event I just did. If you've followed this blog you know I am having a little health issue. I wasn't really sure I would or could do this event. But I had two friends doing the race. And the opportunity to ride with friends on new roads was the incentive I needed to register. Those same friends helped get me through a day when I just wasn't feeling "it." That's what friends do. If you do a lot or running, riding or other silent sports you spend a lot of alone time. And I do enjoy that. Especially lately. It helps me think. Sort through problems. Relax. Some days it helps me take out my frustrations. I'm sure some of my friends and family are raising their eyebrows right about now. Yes, I am an introvert. That's likely what pushed me to do the sports I enjoy and to continue doing them. But in the end it's friends. Meeting old ones and making new ones. Some in person and some via social media. These same friends help me train and push me when I compete. But in the end it's the simple act of friendship. I may not always be the friend I should. And I'm working on that. And my friends, online or in person, need to know how special they are. I may never say that, but you are. While I was writing this I've been staring at this:

It hangs on the side of a file cabinet in my little home "office." And it's a very special note, at least to me. I'm not used to being anybody's inspiration. I do hear that on occasion and for some reason it makes me a little uncomfortable. And a little bit proud!

So, here's to friends! Old ones. New ones. In person and online.  Making new memories and reminiscing. Pushing me when I need it and pulling me too. If I tried to list all the people I’ve shared miles with on roads and trails I’d have to have a separate post! Believe me when I say you are all my "why." 

As always, thanks for checking out my random ramblings. I appreciate it. Comments, questions and suggestions are always appreciated. But keep them friendly!!

Don't count me out yet!

 I see it's been a few weeks since my last post. I didn't get lazy or complacent. I was waiting until I had something worth writing about. Now just whether on not it's really worth posting about is definitely my personal opinion. I could probably post every day but it would get boring quick and most likely be of interest to just me. 

My last post ended with me waiting for radiation treatment to start. That began on Wednesday, October 14. That was my first of 38 treatments. 7 1/2 weeks. Monday through Friday. Approximately a 15 minute treatment. The first week and a half are various times. By October 26 I have my steady time. 10:00 a.m. In a way it's a bit like going in to work. It's about a 45 minute drive one way depending on traffic. On the plus side, my shift at ThedaCare Cancer Center is a little shorter than a normal work day. And I get Thanksgiving off! 

So far the treatments are going fine. None of the possible side effects have kicked in. Yet. At my simulation the nurse made it clear the fatigue would occur. It may take a bit to build up but she made it very clear that it would be real. That is the one side effect that might bother me. I don't usually have a lot of sit in me. I may not accomplish much some days but I usually stay busy, either at work or home. A little nap now and then is nice. Not sure how I feel about napping the day away. Before friends and family (you know who you are!) lecture me, I will be listening to my body. When it says "rest" I will obey. I've already taken more easy and down days than usual. I've said on more than one occasion that training is all about learning to adapt. And I'm doing that. Trust me.

The treatments are quick, painless and simple. At least on my end. I check in at what I'm calling my second home, ThedaCare Regional Cancer Center in Appleton. When I check in at the registration desk I am given a swipe card. I head right over to the radiation area and swipe myself in. There is a waiting room inside and I wait for the technician to call my name. Once they call me it's back to the radiation machine. I lie down and pull my sweats down enough so that they can see the tattoos. Oh yeah, did I mention I can spend most of my day in sweats! I suppose that's one plus! Then I lie there as the machine does it's work. No pain or discomfort. Maybe long enough for a cat nap if I am lucky. Then I'm done! I can finally empty my bladder, which is usually at code yellow. If I didn't mention that before I have to have a full bladder. That can make for an interesting drive to Appleton. Everyone is friendly, helpful, polite and positive, from the person taking temperatures at the door to the techs. This makes a stressful situation easier to handle. So far so good. It's still early but I'm am feeling great.

Speaking of making my days better, I had a surprise visit from our daughter Lara and the girls-Kaelyn, Aria and Everly. They came down with a little care package to brighten my day. It's simple things like this that make this just a bit easier with which to deal. 

As for feeling great, I felt good enough to do a little gravel race on Saturday, October 17. Red Granite Grinder was held in Wausau. The temperature was in the low to mid 30's. A little breeze. And SNOW! Yes, I said snow. The start was in a steady snow. Covering the bridges leading out of town to make things interesting. The trail sections were snow covered and tough. The gravel roads were wet and muddy. And it was a blast. To add to the challenging and memorable conditions and make the day better I rode with two good friends. Todd and Suzanne Meerdink pushed me up hills and pulled me down the gravel roads all morning. My riding partners made the whole day! To top off the day Suzanne was second woman overall and first in her age group. I managed a first in my age group too. I know I keep saying it but it wouldn't have happened without Todd and Suzanne. I probably would still be wandering the back roads after my Garmin refused to work! Of course Tammy was there as support crew to make sure the day went smoothly and that all boxes were checked and nothing was left at home ("do you have your boots?")

That's all I have for now. It was a good week, all things considered. Monday it all starts again. And I'll deal with it one day at a time. I'm sure I'll have a less than stellar day here and there. I just realize there are others who are dealing with much worse and not complaining. I don't have it too bad! As always, thanks for reading and following along. Questions and comments are always welcome.