It's starting to get real all over again!

Well, vacation is over. I'm back to work. I guess it's a good time for a new post. 

Three weeks of vacation went by way too fast. Not much was accomplished but the main thing is that I wasn't at work! I got to relax. Spend some time with friends and family, of course being safe and socially distant. I got in some good runs, rides and even managed an actual pin a bib on race. All in all a good vacation. 

Of course it wouldn't be right to go too long with out a few medical appointments. My appointment for my Lupron shot was last Friday, September 4. I've been doing pretty good on the whole keep your chin up positive attitude front. Honest. I won't say I don't have an occasional craptastic day, but if you were to ask my better half, Tammy, I've been good. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Last Friday just seemed to bring everything back to reality. Shit got real for me. Again. The Lupron shot is the precursor to my radiation therapy. The Lupron will lower my androgen levels and cause any cancer to shrink or grow more slowly. The shot itself was no big deal. What felt like a hypodermic the size of a large knitting needle in my left butt cheek. A little bit of a bruised and achy posterior for a few days (still lingering today.) It is a six month dose but the effects could last up to nine months. I'm as ready as I can be for any side effects. Joint or muscle pain isn't a big deal. Not complaining but that's a normal day for me. Hot flashes are a rare occurrence for me but they do happen. So that would not be that big of an issue. Anything else I'll deal with. Not like I have a choice.

Again, it's the upcoming radiation therapy that has me thinking. The cancer is basically undetectable, but it's not gone. And I know it's something that will always be in the back of my mind. Every check up. Every appointment. Every test that gets run. What if it is back? I don't dwell on it. It's the hand that has been dealt me and life goes on. I won't change-much. I'll keep doing what I do and being who I am. But it will always be in that dark little spot in my mind. 

What has really helped me in all this is the support of friends and family. This wouldn't be as easy of a fight without all of you. I won't even try to list you all, but if you're reading this you are a big part of my life and I can never explain how important you are or how much you mean to me and Tammy. And not everyone on that growing list will see this but they still are critical to my journey. All the check ins. All the messages, texts, e-mails, phone calls, social media posts, rides and runs mean a lot. One recent incident brought home the love and concern of friends and family. Tammy and I were having a couple of beers with some friends. Again, yes socially distant! I was wearing a shirt that was a gift from one of our daughters. It had what I'm calling my logo on it. 

It was just the shirt I pulled on that day. Julie asked where her shirt was. I was amazed, floored and touched more that I let on (I hope.) Next thing I know we're contacting our daughter, Lara to see if she can make more. My sister gets wind and she asks her for shirts. More friends want shirts. There's talk of a get together when I'm done with treatment and hopefully everyone is wearing a shirt. Without getting to sappy, I've never felt anything like this. If I could explain it in words, I would. If you've read my ramblings here you know that I'm not exactly a wordsmith. I won't even attempt to describe the feeling other than it's very special.     

Well, that's definitely enough for tonight. Tired minds tend to babble on and it is late. 

Thank you again for reading and following along. It goes without saying that comments and questions are always welcome. And oh yeah-FUCK CANCER!